A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 2 years now. We are both in our early 20's and I've been thinking about our future together. He's told me that he doesn't know if there will be a future with us. He says he loves me and wants to marry me but that he is still young and wants to have fun with other girls before he marries me. He suggested us being together but me letting him get things off his system (let him have sex with other girls). I've been thinking about it and I am leaning towards it. I love him sooo much that I am willing to do that. Am I being too selfish? Am I wasting my time? I don't know what to do.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (18 January 2009):
he's not ready for marriage! whatever you do, do not marry him yet. if he was really ready to marry you the only person he would want to be with, is you! you either need to really think about your future with him or maybe suggest putting the marriage off for a few years untill you are both older and ready for it.
you don't want to get married and then find out he has cheated on you. it would break your heart. there is no rush to get married, you are still young and he is obviously not ready.
A
male
reader, cherie38 +, writes (18 January 2009):
theres only 1 answer to that hun get rid! he obviously has no respect for you and neither does he love you he cant do nif he wants sex with other women and who is to ssay that after your married it wont continue x
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A
female
reader, nothappy83 +, writes (18 January 2009):
This is a normal feeling for someone your age. It sounds to me like he knows he loves you, but that he needs time before he takes the next step with you. Why not try splitting up for a few months, then talk again to see where both of you are mentally and emotionally?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): He's simply not ready for marriage yet. If he was to marry you before he got this out of his system he would almost certainly be unfaithful to you sooner or later.
He wants to sow his wild oats before getting married, which is better than sowing them after. But what's good for the goose is good for the gander and he shouldn't have any objections to you doing the same.
I can't see why you think you're being selfish, it's only natural that you want an exclusive relationship, whether married or not. You could be wasting your time with him though. Getting married while he's thinking this way would be rather foolish, but you have to give him some credit for being honest about it.
The only sensible thing to do would be to break up with him, at least for the time being, because if you don't, all you'll be is one of a number of women he'll be seeing and I don't think anyone in their right mind would be happy with that situation.
In any case, I wouldn't recommend getting married at your age, you've both got some living to do before settling down. Save the marriage scenario until you're about 25 then you'll both know for sure if you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): I can understand his point but this type of behaviour can wreak relationships. All the trust and respect can go. Your in a dead end here, if you say no. He will resent you and properly cheat but if you say yes, your gonna hurt anyway.
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