A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing someone for about a month. We get along great, see each other often and many times we just spend time talking, playing sport, going for walks etc. He's been very slow to make a move on me and even after he did he's been slow in progressing things. But then the other night while we were at his place and kissing he told me that he really wants to sleep with me. I wasn't ready and told him so and he said that he's willing to wait until I'm comfortable with the idea. What bothers me here is that I felt like he wanted to go from simple mouth kissing (he won't french kiss me, I've tried but he isn't responding) to having sex...it's like going from 1 to 10 and skipping all the other numbers in between. I just can't do that and maybe that's why I'm not ready to have sex with him. I want to slowly get there, not launch into it.I'm willing to do other things with him that stop short of having sex but he doesn't seem to want to, or does he, I don't know? Like I said, he doesn't french kiss me, and when we do get close and start kissing he only touches me where it's 'safe.' I can however tell that he really enjoys the physical contact with me so I'm a bit confused here.Is he not sure he's allowed to? He did mention sex though so it's not like he's being too careful. Is it me? I don't know how to bring this up...what do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Hmm... my boyfriend is a bit older and more experienced than me, and before we got together, he told me that he views basically anything between 1 and 10 as 'kids play' so maybe your boyfriend is thinking alone the same lines?
But my guy was never against french kissing. Thats a little strange, ask him if he doesnt like it!
Anyhoo I got mine to change his mine, basically say its this or nothing. If you want to hint to him, just kiss him passionatly and move your hands about his body, prehaps moving his hands when you want them to go or whatnot.
He'll get the idea.
xx
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 I think you should bite the bullet and bring it up. A month of dating is not all that long, but it would be nothing to ask a question (without appearing to put too much weight on it) like:
"When you brought up sex the other day, it got me thinking. I think I would enjoy it, but I appreciate you are willing to work at a pace that is comfortable for me. Are there other activities you enjoy?"
Good luck.
P.S. Not everyone is "big" on french kissing.
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