A
female
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*onfusionz
writes:Just to give you an update on what's been happening over the last week. The last time I wrote I told you I was confused about my ex who I had just got back with after nearly 4 years apart. He was acting very suspicious and sneaking around with the same woman he had just left for me. He said I didn't trust him and kept accusing him of seeing her. He said it was over with her and that I was causing him stress and making it easy for him to leave. Well the situation now is that over the weekend on Saturday night he and this woman went out and he spent the whole night, morning and afternoon with her. I tried calling him in the afternoon but he did not answer his phone. When he was on his way back home he called to say he was coming. He came in all brazen as if he'd done nothing wrong. No apology or nothing. He just looked at me as though he was expecting me to question him. Well I didn't ask him anything but I showed him where the door was and told him he can leave at any time as I do not expect to be treated like this in my own home and being disrespected and ridiculed. All he said was okay. I didn't have anything more to say to him and we haven't really spoken since. It's like two strangers living here. He didn't know that I knew where he was on Saturday but this morning I asked him to let me know when he'll be leaving and I told him I knew where he was on Saturday. He denied it as usual and said this was one of the biggest regrets he's ever had by moving in with me because all I've been doing is causing him a lot or hassles. It's only a matter of time now before he leaves and the sooner the better because I can't really carry on living like this with someone who doesn't really want to be here. I do really think it's a shame that he didn't really want to give it a try and after only approximately one month we've decided it's not going to work. He obviously wants to go back to the other woman. She has gone away on holiday for a couple of weeks and I expect he will try to hang around until she gets back but I'd like him to go before then.
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (16 August 2006):
 sweetieI am so sorry it didn't work but at least you tried. Do not feel bad tell him you want him out now, you owe him nothing maybe now you can move on and find someone that will treat you well. Tell your ex you have met someone and he needs to go now let him see how it feels do not let him stay another night not even on the floor he's made his bed now he can lie in it and it's not your problem!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): If you want him to go--then tell him! He has to go. The problem I see with this situation is when a woman moves a man in, with whom she knows is not committed, he already knows one important thing...he doesn't have to do much of anything and he still gets his way. . So then he screws around and he still stays with you and he learns: he still doesn't have to do anything much to get his own way. In the meantime, he's in 'your' home, your place of safety, you have to tolerate this cad, getting in your space and stressing you out? This arrangement is further demeaning to you and you know it. In fact, he seem like the type of man who gets some pleasure out of making you squirm. Don't tolerate this. Kick his sorry ass out of there...today or do what a lot of women do if he doesn't leave. Call the police and have him removed and change your locks, immediately.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Jeez Louise, get a backbone here! It's your home, kick him out. There is no future for you with this guy. Get rid of the loser. Be tough and good luck.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (15 August 2006):
 If thats your place then don't ask him to leave tell him to. Don't make it convenient for him as he has not been a walk in the park for you. You are showing sympathy and he hasn't. He used you for a break from this woman and now that he wants her back he is still using you. Don't continue to be used. You are the only one who can cut those ties because a person never changes their situation until they are fed up with it. Are you still holding on to hope? Tell him to leave stop asking!!! Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): You need to tell him to get the hell out of your house!! You owe him nothing. He has treated you horribly, and you should put him out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): It's your house so don't let him hang around. When he goes out, pack all his stuff, or better still leave them unpacked and just throw them outside and when he gets back, if he tries to make a fuss, make him realise that you're no pushover and that if he doesn't get his sorry self elsewhere, you will call the police. Do not stammer, look him in the eye when doing all this, stand up straight, make him realise that you're a woman to be feared and you cannot be easily intimidated and whatever he says, do not back down.
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