A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, it's me the wife with the cheating husband 2nd time. We still communicate and he has aksed me if he could come back home, but I, I want to but I'm scared. This really hurts and I'm too young to go through this. But I also stressed to him before and during our vows when I say I Do, I mean it with everything I got. Please help me to make this choice. Yes I want him back, but no I don't want to keep going through this hardship. PLEASE HELP ME!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): i am scared for you too. what if you get hurt again, and he walks all over you again. I know you love him but has he really changed. Can you trust him? Perhaps take things one day at a time, no sex please (for now) and then see. Be strong for yourself and do not let him be your world. Life for yourself in the hope of finding inner peace. Perhaps Marriage counselling is the answer here. But he must be willing to amend his ways. Strength and peace during this difficult time.
A
female
reader, Good Girl +, writes (14 March 2009):
 Girl listen to your instincts. If you're scared, it's for a reason. When you gave your vows to him it was in response to a vow from him. You would never have made a sacred vow to him if his vows included a cheating option. I know what you're going through and it feels like it would be easier to be the better person and forgive than to deal with all the uncertainty and missing. You are the better person, but he will only see it as weakness if you take him back because he begged you. In time, if he can earn your trust somehow NOT beg for it, you can cross that bridge. Let your head clear. Feel independent. You have a long life ahead of you, and only you are responsible for your own happiness. You are not responsible for his choices. Be glad that you are strong enough to have come this far. You were faithful to him. Now be faithful to yourself.
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A
male
reader, Max39 +, writes (14 March 2009):
This may sound crass, but its honesty. Unfortunately that usually hurts. He's cheated on you not once, but twice, which means you've given him a second chance already. Its your choice, no one can make that for you. But some considerations ~ Do you think you can and will trust him? Do you think he will be there only for you? Do you think you're "in love" with him despite his actions? Or are you just affraid of being without someone? Myself, I could not be with someone I didnt trust, and under those circumstances, I couldn't trust that other person. And I would rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong ones. But thats just me. You have to make your choice on this. Just remember though, there are other good men out there ~ i'm guessing one of them who would be much better to you than him...
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