A
female
 
age
36-40,
*edazzled86
writes:I'm really confused me and my ex partner split up four months ago he said he was feeling trapped, without thinking straight I threw him out as we were regulary arguing, I found myself regretting that when he said he was happy and didn't want to come back I couldn't handle this as we have a two year old and I was five months pregnant at the time. We stayed in contact cos of our son and then started sleeping together on occasions but still remained living up his parents house.I just don't understand why he couldn't talk to me about not being happy? I think its silly we split up on such pathetic terms, I'm now expecting a baby any day and he's on standby, I want him there for the birth but I also want him back. I've given him an ultimatum that he tells me what he wants as soon as the baby arrives but its like he's different all the time he's adamant he wants to be there for the birth but what about after I don't want him to come back just for the kids x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): Hello i dont think you have to worry about him trying to be noble and going back to you just to be with his children. He doesnt sound the type. I think if he`d wanted to do that he would have asked to return to you. But he hasnt. If he would like to be there for the birth and youre ok with that, thats brilliant but it wont fix anything. I wouldnt force him to make big decisions on the day! Just get him involved with helping you with the baby and toddler. Make them your priority for the time being and see if hes helpful and caring. You wanted him gone so he went. He told you he wasnt happy and felt trapped. If you really want him back again i really dont think ultimatums is the way to go. You will just be driving him into another corner when hes asking you for space. Im not sure if the pregnacies were planned but as he felt trapped by events, im assuming they werent. I would lay off the decision making and start using protection. Take things with him a day at a time and make it enjoyable not a chore. He may well come back to you if things are good x
A
female
reader, finster +, writes (9 December 2009):
iv gone through similar myself my ex walked out on me when i was 3 months pregnant my baby is now 12 weeks old. He came for birth as i was hoping if he saw his child being born he may think twice at what he was giving up but on the other hand i thought why should he get the best bits when he hadnt emotionally been supportive through pregnancy. He helped me the first week she was born and then he started doing his own thing again and now its been 5 weeks since he has seen either of his children as iv got a 16 mth old to him aswell. I dont know what to suggest im still deeply in love with him but he doesnt want me back. Family life is just not what some people want in life and its a shame I look at my daughters though and they have so much love for me its as if they know and they help you get through it in someways. He has even changed his number so i cant ever ring him but he has kept mine. try not to get down about it easier said than done but you need to try n stay positive turn to friends and family they have helped me through it. x x
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (9 December 2009):
 If he doesn't want to be with you there is no way to force him. Concentrate on making your life better for yourself and your two children.
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A
female
reader, bedazzled86 +, writes (9 December 2009):
bedazzled86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were together for thee years
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I think you were right to throw him out. If he says he's happy and doesn't want to come back, then you're better off without him!
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 December 2009):
How long were you two together?
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