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He wants to be serious and then disappears!

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

OK - met a guy on a dating site, and we met and things were great. Met again and he was REALLY positive about me - called me beautiful, attractive, great to be with (should have seen him for what he is then .....?) etc. and we planned to meet again which we did. Then he suddenly backed off. I mean REALLY backed off. We still exchanged texts, etc., but they were friendly rather then 'smitten' :-P So I said ok if this is how it is I would like to keep seeing him but not make it exclusive, as he obviously wasn't serious. At which point he got snotty and assured me that he was being careful rather than casual and if i wasn't going to keep it exclusive then he wasn't that interested (second red flag?). He then (afte we did meet again) say that actually he would like serious afterwhich he has dropped entirely off the face of the earth.

Thing is I know he is playing me but how in the hell can people be like this????????????????? And how can I stop being so bloody stupid mooning over such a toerag?? /rantover

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 July 2012):

Honeypie agony auntDrop him like it's hot.

I think he was hoping to charm you into bed asap and then skip to the next lady.

How can you stop feeling the way you do? By stop beating yourself up, you thought he could be a Keeper obviously he wasn't.. NEXT!

Sever the contact, move on. Take it slow.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

We are ALL bluffed more than once, but its easy in the moment to be sucked in,even though we KNOW deep down they are spinning us a line,a player,we are one of many. I Think in these cases we just want to believe them regardless.

Thing is you can see him for what he is and will not go back there.We get more angry with ourselves at times like this but we're only mere humans at the end of the day

Just leave him to his stupid child games and one day you WILL meet a proper grown up man. Doubt it will be online though.

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A female reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2012):

HughHefner'sPlaymate agony auntYou're not stupid, he's just good at what he does, most experienced players are. They have no conscience and only care about satisfying their needs. Please just forget he ever existed he has user written all over him. If I were you I would cut all contact with him. He seems like the type that will woo you in order to have sex with you and the just disappear. Maybe he'll make up a lame excuse or you'll just never hear from him again. Don't give him the opportunity to hurt you anymore. All the best

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