A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How often do couples have sex? I have been with my partner for just under 2 years and feel he always wants sex. I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship. So some nights I am just too tired and want to just sleep. Then he sulks if I say no or says things like guess you have younger man on the go, when I'm a work ect. He's 46 and I'm 26. I swear I am not cheating! I wouldn't. So I end up just giving in and having sex with him. This is almost every night! Could he have some kind of addiction to sex I have read that people do? How often do men need to as normal and is it me who has the problem if I don't want to? I do love him and I do find him attractive. I just don't have much desire to have sex like I used to at the start, now I dread getting into bed because I know he's going to pester me until we do the deed. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016): My man is the same, not so in he wants sex every night, he wants relief, when he's not had stimulation of any kind he can be moody n u talkative, and is always wanting oral sex, he never returns the favour, or he wants anal. I feel I'm prostitution myself half the time to keep him happy.
But lately I've put my foot down and ignore him, I have days when I'm tired, and he just has to understand that.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 Normal is sort of a variable here. One person's normal is another person's extreme.
Speaking as a guy, we tend to have a higher sex drive than women (at least in most cases). Couple the fact that he is older and with a much younger (and probably hotter girl) his libido is going to be likely sky-high.
Another thing about guys is that we get a great deal of pleasure out of it. It is one of our ways of showing our love as well as an ego thing (knowing we can provide physical pleasure for you). It is also a source of relaxation and helps us guys go to sleep.
When you reject your man, you are in a sense taking a swipe at his ego. Yes, he will pout and he will be upset because he wants to be close to you as well as have his physical needs met.
This is always a tough one to negotiate. Some people would tell you to always give in but I see this as an opportunity to find a middle ground. If you see sex as a chore and you aren't getting anything out of it, then it is probably time to speak up. If there is something he can do to help you feel less tired or less stressed, then by all means tell him.
Just be careful of falling into a pattern of always turning him down to spite him. Bad things happen when a man is continually rejected for sex: he becomes resentful, will resort to porn, a fling, or just up and leave.
It certainly is a balancing act and there are no real easy solutions here. One of you will have to make a compromise. Keep in mind, he is trying to provide you with pleasure to and sacrificing a few extra minutes of your day may make him a much happier man.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 February 2016):
 I would call him on the sulking and accusations of cheating when he says it. Stop and look him in the eye. Tell him you don't appreciate it and you find it a huge turn off. Tell him you are exhausted. Tell him you are worried because you are beginning to dread getting into bed at night.
Yes, he may have a high sex drive. He may want to have an orgasm every single day. That doesn't give him the right to bully or taunt you into caving in.
Does he spend the time to get you aroused at all? Or are you expected to be ready when he is?
He might benefit from learning some of the concepts from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus type of books.
Maybe you have moved in together too early? You do need to be able to communicate your needs for this to be a viable longterm relationship.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 February 2016):
 It is very unfair of him to manipulate you. When you say no he should respect that and not pester you. You need to talk to him about this and tell him how much it is making you dread going to bed. Tell him that sooner or later this could be a deal breaker in the relationship. Because at the end of the day he needs to respect you, and at the minute he is not, he is just thinking of himself.
It doesn't mean that he has a sex problem, he obviously just has a high sex drive. Him accusing you off cheating, sounds to me like emotional black mail, and it would not be the sort of relationship I would want to be in, I would want him to think of me and put my feelings first. He sounds selfish.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2016): I loved when my ex boyfriend would wake up for sex during the night and before bed and in the morning. Especially of you are in love. I enjoyed a active sex life but everyone is different.I have met guys who would go a few times a night and others who would only have sex once or not at all and just sleep. He probably has a high sex drive. But he should respect your wishes if you are not in the mood and he should not be paranoid I would have a chat to him about it and say sometimes you are just too tired or not in the mood tonight, you might not be sexually compatible but you probably are in other ways.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 February 2016):
 It might BE normal for him. And normal for you to not want it as much. It's pretty common that people don't always have the same sex drive through out the relationship as their partner.
I think you need to to talk to him. Because if you start feeling dread going to bed because you are NOT in the mood he is slowly killing your libido and at some point you won't want it AT ALL.
IT IS OK - to say no thanks some evenings. And he needs to quit the manipulations to get what HE wants all the time. It's NOT OK for him to not respect a no,
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