A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing a mew guy. I really really like him. Hes very very affectionate which i love. However, he wants sex/relief twice a day, sometimes even more! The other day he woke me at 3am to have sex, but in the morning he wanted it again. Every morning I wake up to him playing with himself. I like him and I myself do have quite a high sex drive.. however, im quite an insecure person and am.worried that if i start a relationship with him, he will need sex elsewhere if he is addicted to it?Do you think it sounds like he could be sex/porn addict or is it normal for a new relationship in the first few months?How do i express my concerns to him?Thankyou :)
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (19 December 2017):
 There is a lot of information missing here.
How long have you been dating?
Is he visiting you or does he now live with you?
It's not uncommon for people not feel like they can't get enough of one another in the very early stages of a relationship and that eventually levels out. I gather yours is new but I don't know how new.
Not enough information here for me to suspect an addiction to porn.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (19 December 2017):
 How do you express anything in life?
Open your mouth. How else does he know there's a problem unless you tell him? As far as he's concerned you're absolutely loving the amount of sex you're currently having and he's overjoyed to have met someone with a matching sex drive.
If that's not the case, tell him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 December 2017):
 I think YOU need to set boundaries.
Honestly? I nym 20's I might not have resented a partner waking me at 3 am for sex (unless I had to be up at 6 am and needed my sleep) but... In my 30's and now in my 40's? I'd shut that down fast.
So my advice is this.
1. DO NOT just have sex to please him.
2. SET reasonable boundaries. You are NOT his frigging blow-up doll he can just "wake up" when horny. I mean seriously...
3. If he doesn't RESPECT boundaries stop having sleepovers for a little while, while he LEARNS to RESPECT your boundaries.(like don't WAKE you up for sex, him having a hard-on is NOT an emergency or such a dramatic event that it requires him to wake you up.)
I absolutely get that people can be SUPER horny if they have gone a long time not having a partner - but there is such a thing as having unrealistic expectations.
And I also think you NEED to have a talk about this. If you constantly comply even when you aren't entirely in the mood, you will end up having a lower and lower libido because sex will stop being fun and become a chore.
It's great that he is so into you that he can't keep his hands off you, but... he also needs to see you as a person not just a new fangled SEX toy!
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