A
female
age
30-35,
*ayla00
writes:I'm 21 he is 29, lately he has been wanting to take it to the next level (intimacy), the thing is im still a virgin and not sure if he his the right one ... After being friends for the past few years, I asked where he sees our "relationship" going, he said," I do not know what I want, but I was hoping i could have you as a bootycall for the time being". I'm crushed and not sure how to deal with this situation, I've become attached to him thinking he wanted more, and was lead on by him.We still talk and hangout, and he still asks about becoming intimate.I'm lost in how to deal/cope with this situation?!
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booty call, crush, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Whats wrong? He came straight out with it... why you giving him the time of day to worry about it?
A
female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Huney 2 weeks tops and you whont evin remember his name! ;)
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A
female
reader, kayla00 +, writes (22 August 2010):
kayla00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou all for the support and great advice, we both decided to go our own ways and be friends... sadly I'm still heartbroken of the idea he only wanted our friendship to have benifits =\ , hopefuly within time I can move on and find someone who is worth having me :) !!
Thankyou all and God Bless !!!
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A
female
reader, zebralove +, writes (20 August 2010):
Omg what a A*Hole !!! Well You didnt give your self to him yet GOOD! Dont you ever do it eather! Dump him and move on. He doesnt respect you. You will find someone who L.O.V.E.S you and wont try to use you like this. PLEASE dont let him have you! Keep us posted! xoxox
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): I shiver at the thought of what kind of "relationship" he wants from you...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): He told you the truth instead of just saying whatever it took to get in your pants. Its not what you want to hear from him, but its what you needed and deserved to hear from him. Its the truth. This was more respectful of him than lying to you.
He gave you an out. Take it. Nobody would blame him if you sleep with him now and end up hurt. It would be your own fault.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): I don't look as a lady who is a virgin as a bootycall. I look as a virgin as marriage material, peroid. ANd itgoes beyond that, even if she was not a virgin, and the lady I wanted to marry, then sex would be after marriage, not before. Love goes beyond sex.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Grr... Bootycall!!!!
Honeypie, there's a lot of power in saying NO!! He wants you, but you won't give in... learn to enjoy the power of rejecting a man, he's a lousy piece of crap, so I think you should practise on him..
Princesses say NO a lot, they are so special that they have to wait for Prince Charming.. learn to enjoy the power of NO!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 August 2010):
Bootycall!!!!!!!!!!!!.. DUMP HIM, your not a fast meal to be gulped down.. you and your body are worth more than that.. you deserve to be loved by a special man...
Grrrr... BOOTYCALL!!!!!!!!!!!!.... he's a "*t*t^^*&(&(*)(*jiy^^*^%*%r%"£" I want more for you than that... Tell him to go find a bottle, don't worry, he'll still get pleasure from that...
Grrrrr.... I can hear your a fine lady.. so you say.. "Thank you, but no thanks, I'm a special person and I don't roll in the mud with pigs...."
Now I'm angry on your behalf, and if you sleep with him, I'll get angrier still.. your a princess and he is... well, he's just nasty, too nasty to get next to your body or even touch your hand.
Babes, a nice man is out there, but this pig aint him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): So, he wants your virginity and a occasional'bootycall' while potentially still sleeping with other women?? It sounds like he can give you nothing that resembles a happy, stable and commited relationship.
Really listen to what he is telling you, because he means it. A lot of women tell themselves something different than what they are hearing. He does not want a relationship with you, he will not want a relationship after he has some sex. All he wants is to call you up whenever HE likes it, come over, have sex with you and go home same night/next day. This doesn't sound like the right 'one' to me.
I'm glad you are respecting yourself and not giving away something that is so special to you. Now respect yourself further by not continuing down this path. Be friends, if that is what you want, but end everything else. It sounds like a waste of time and energy. Honestly, there are so many men out there - just go out and mingle. You deserve a lot better :)
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (19 August 2010):
 I'm so sorry, it is the most horrible feeling ever to find that someone you thought alot of, totally disrespects you.
Firstly i'd be grateful that you found out before you took your relationship to another level, and secondly, just tell him it aint ever gonna happen.
He really isn't worth it, if you were to give him your virginity, he wouldn't appreciate it, or be as honoured as the 'right one' will be, he will probably want to just plant a flag in you, to tell everyone he conquered you.
If you can't deal with the situation, then stop hanging out till you can deal with it, personally, if I were you, i'd just stop seeing him.
I dont know anyone who would trade and possibly put at risk, a good friendship for a booty call, he really isn't being very respectful at all, he isn't worthy of the feelings you have for him.
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