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female
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*rincessJ
writes: Ok, here goes....I recently got dumped by the man I felt was the love of my life,but since he broke it off (after 2 yrs) I've seen a different side of him and accepted it wasn't menat to be even though I still care greatly for him. I met another man, through a friend about 2 weeks after being dumped, we started to see each other on a casual basis. He's great - treats me right, cares about me, we have a connection. But now he wants more and I'm confused. I feel we have something special but I'm not sure if getting back into another relationship so soon is best. I'm scared of being vulnerable and hurt again if it doesn't work out. Also, he is 7yrs younger than me, which is a factor when I think about the future.Your views would be greatly appreciated on this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 I don't think the age gap is a problem here but if he is really into you, and you think there is a potential to feel the same way in the future then explain to him that you want to take it slowly - if he is not willing to accept that then he isnt willing to compromise and that means you will be unhappy in the future by his inflexibility. If he is the good, patient person you describe then he should understand. Take your time to get to know him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): I think you have met someone way too soon. This is sounding like a rebound job and i no just how they can turn out. It is best to spend as much time as you can on your own between partners to get the full benefit of yourself. Get to know yourself and how you think and everything. Try and get him to back off a bit or cool it yourself. Tell him exactly how you feel, don't hold back, you are not doing yourself or him any favours. Then have a few days and nights on your own, go out with your mates, have a laugh. We don't have to be joined at the seam by a partner.
If he accepts what you say, then great, if he doesn't then he isn't too mature, is he?
Do Take care
xx
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