A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this man for 9 months. When we met he told me he had been divorced for 2 years after a 20 year marriage but in his Younger days he had a gf who he never married who he had a child with, however he raised this child on his own, along with his xwife the child is now 34 and is divorced and is bringing his grandchildren for a visit which the child also did around a holiday. when we first met my boyfriends childs mother stayed at his home along with daughter and grandchildren and I did not attend the holiday event I was not asked however he sent texted pictures of his child mother to me?? The child does not see her dad but maybe twice a year she is now coming for a visit and he wants me to come and meet his child and grandchildren and again the childs mother will be staying even though she lives just 20 miles from him it isnt like she lives 2-3 hours away When I asked him if the childs mother is staying there he replied yes 4-5 days I said I would not come as I feel very uncomfortable he got upset with me and now has hardly spoke a word to me.... Could use some suggestions.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 July 2010):
 You really swung and missed on this one.
If anything, you could have been right there watching him interact with the woman and seen if there was anything fishy for yourself! You had a chance to be gracious and show everyone that you are a wonderful part of his life. Like it or not she's part of his family and is not going away.
Call him, apologize, and tell him you'd love to come. Then you put your personal insecurities aside and show everyone your good side.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 They say of men, look at what they do, not what they say.
He wants you to meet his kid...it's important to him. If it wasn't important to him, he would not have asked.
You love this man I take it?, you want things to work? If the relationship continues your going to have to form some connection with his kid?
Forget the kids mother, be gracious and kind. Be a supportive partner.
e isn't speaking to you because you have created drama over something that REALLY matters to him. He is asking for your support and your being difficult.
Your a grown woman...suck it up, go meet his daughter!
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