A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 50 with him 12 yrs. i do not work and we rent out a room . he is always gone he says to make extra money so why do i put up with people in my home .i dont have anything with him i feel so very bad. yes i do look for work. he says he loves me i believe he does but he has no room for me when he is home he is sleeping. now he wants to move a violent friend in. i cant put up with this i have enough problems it will add.what to do. no friends or family no where or way to go.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 August 2011):
You say "no".
And that's it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): Say NO to renting to the violent friend. I'm a ex-felon and I tell you this. He will try you as a female, regardless of his relationship with him. Don't do it!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 August 2011):
 Your self esteem has taken a battering in this relationship and that is not ok.
As an exercise to demonstrate the need for you to value you more highly I suggest that you write out a list of your ten (Yes, Ten) BEST points.
right now I am not sure you could write out a list of your Ten Best Points and that is not OK.
Also every decision needs to be subjected to this rule: "Is this decision GOOD for ME"
If it is not good for you then it must not occur. Say NO.
And another thing you need to learn is this: Putting you first. That is not selfish. That is how you survive.
Under no circumstances can you say yes to this violent friend sharing your home. Especially as your guy is away so much. You need to be safe at all times in your own home. Rent the room to a nice student. But not to a violent potentially dangerous man.
Twelve years? And what has this man done for you? It sounds like he treats the home like his doss house when he is home. That is no way to live.
If he is abusive to you then you also need to get some good advice on that as well.
Please take very good care of you. For he surely will not.
Best Wishes
Abella
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