A
female
age
41-50,
*ooconfused
writes:I was with a guy for 6yrs an have 2 children by him, we split up 4 mnths ago due to him staying out all night partying and generally not treating me very good.Now he wants me back and although i do still love him my head is telling me not to do it.I am happy with being single and dont want any1 else.will i get over my feelings 4 this guy or should i folow my hear with no guarantee he will change?
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female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 I must declare my opinion on this:for the kids it's better to be with one parent only then with both if they're arguing or disrespect each other.You two have already split up and I dunno...how come you haven't mention kids in your question?That is:you wrote you have two of them but didn't say anything about how did they take it or do they miss their father.It's a tough question you're the only one who could reply to...but for that use your heart as in what's the best for the kids and head as in don't think of it with your emotions on.Great luck
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 I can't say whether he has changed or not. Knowing change, I can tell you it's a process, but sometimes what gets that process started is loss. If he loves you too, his loss can bring his not treating you well into perspective.
You still love him, but enjoy being single. That's a normal reaction. Your questions is actually part of the answer too. "No guarantee". No guarantee equals fear. Many times we choose the more guaranteed road because it's safe. But by being safe all the time, we tend not to live. What if he is wanting to put his whole self into the relationship with you, if you take the safe road, and stay single, there may always be a part of you that questions what might have been.
Having two kids with him as well. They need to be an issue in your making your decision. If it were me, with my children, if there was a possibility in the "no guarantee" that I can find happiness with the other parent through their changes, then it would benefit my kids more than enjoying the single life. Take care, I hope everything works out for you.
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