A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:alright. i have been having an affair with a friend of mine for a while now and we started off as friends only then grew into having benefits.. now there are stronger feelings there!.. but anyways.. i am not vocal during sex. i find it degrading somehow and embarassing.. i dont think its bad when others do it i just cant cut loose and open up.. i mean sure i moan during sex but he wants to talk dirty and gets disappointed if i dont respone but i just cant do it.. i cant overcome my insecurity.. i want to make him happy.. any advice!? i need help.. and quick..thanks for your time,Undercoverlover 3
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok who says i am married! i never stated that... he is a friend and he is in a another relationship... and yes i mean the dirty talk.. its not necessarily degrading but more i just dont wanna say something and sound stupid..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): ok, which one of you are cheating ?? you or him ?? I'm guessing its you.(affair is a term women use when they are out flocking someone other than their husband. Wives have "affairs" while husbands "cheat". lol...) A wild thought just occured,, why not learn to talk dirty with your husband?? I'm totally at a loss why talking dirty is demeaning and cheating isn't ??? How does that work ??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): Hi, you say you are having an affair but find it degrading to talk dirty? I am confused as to what is degrading. - the affair or the dirty talk?
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (3 February 2010):
You dont have to start with anything extreme.... Maybe "I like that" or "do you like that" or "dont stop"... You get the idea?. Once you get started you can build up your vocabulary over time to the point where you can shock him by throwing in some insults once in a while like "you call that a f*ck??? Nah baby this... is a f*ck"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 You need to let go of your view about dirty talk being embarrassing and degrading for you to wholly embrace it.
Do you think dirty talk in your head? Like fantasize about talking dirty, but just not act it out?
Maybe get your partner to do some dirty talk first to get the ball rolling so he can show you how it's done. If you're both doing it, then it doesn't seem as strange or foreign.
What, exactly, do you find degrading about it? You don't need to necessarily give me an answer, but just think about it yourself because maybe pinpointing your fears over it can help you overcome it. You could also talk to a sex therapist if you want about how to let go of sexual repression.
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