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age
36-40,
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writes: I met a guy online around 3 months ago. I wasn't initially into him but I liked him so I decided to give it a go. He runs his own startup business therefore we had an understanding from the off that we'd only see each other infrequently. He'd had failures in the past and it quite paranoid of this happening again, so he is putting alot of time and effort in.I initially think he was looking for someone for causual sex but I didn't sleep with him until we were a month in. A month in and he started saying that he never planned to meet someone like me. We shared some amazing moments - he'd visit me more frequently and he'd call me every night. 2 months in, I moved to my own flat and this gave us the perfect opportunity to spend more time together. He said that he liked me a lot and he was scared of the impact I was having on him as I was a distraction. He hadn't prepared for this given his business life. By this point I'd already met members of his family and he accidentally met my mum and nanna. All was going great and he told me that he was crazy about me. About two weeks ago, I sent him an email with my "life plan" it was more of a - this is who I am email as I have been hurt in the past and have compromised on what I want. He respected that and we talked about it. A week later this scared him and he thought I wanted long term commitment with him. He broke up with me last night saying that he has a lot on in his personal life (his dad is dying) and his business life and he cant commit to me right now - in his words, he didnt love me. He said the sex was amazing and we were good mates but nothing more. I proceeded to say its only been 3 months, love is not expected. He stayed for 4 more hours and then started saying that he didnt want this to be the end. He said that I scared him and that he wanted a break rather than to write it off. He then asked whether I trusted him and told me to have faith in him - he said he loved a lot of things about me and he wasn't an idiot so he's not going to throw everything away on a whim, he just needs to get his business and family life sorted.I emailed him today as I don't simply want to give up after 3 months. He agreed but said he didn't know when he would be ready. He asked me to give him a date and if he wasn't ready then we weren't meant to be.I'm in shock as everything was progressing and going great up until now.what shoudl I do?
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Hi
He's running scared with age old excuses.
You did everything right, but he's the wrong man to give your all to. Cut contact and move on without him.He just wants a FWB situation, you want a full-on relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): He needs a break? 3 months must be a long time in his books?! I would not contact him. Move on, be with someone who WANTS to be with YOU.
Everyone has problems with family and careers. I do think his dad dying is a lot to think about and needs sometime to re-group but I don't think it deserves a break up.
Stay strong. Be true to you and your desires. I think he is a coward. You on the other hand need to show courage.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (22 May 2013):
He's probably going to break up with you so treat it as a breakup. 3 months is way too short to need a break. Things should be amazing at this point.
I think that the best thing to do is to cease all contact with him. It'll help you to get over him if it truly is a break up. If it's really just a break and you want to be with him it's also the best way to get him back. Being needy and annoying is the worst way, so avoid it at all costs.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Often in this age and time people want to be in relationships but not be committed. It ends up being friends with benefits and so forth. The one person or both will be reaping the rewards of sexor money or friendship. Or possible just plain old good sex without love. People don't want be tied down especially if they had or have bad past relationships. It's basically fear or relationships fear of commitment as well. You have to decide if you want to give the head and milk and other goodies away or keep them for a more competent boyfriend or date. Its up to you the balls in your court because men will be men regardless and not be judge about how or how many sex partners. On the other hand you would be labeled derogatorally. Make a decision you can live with 1st and foremost. That's all that matters really if you enjoy it do if not dont do.
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