A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyoneMy break is almost over with my boyfriend. We have been going out together for 4.5 years. He broke up/went on a break with me 2 weeks ago saying our relationship is just going round in circles, that he is unhappy and doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship. He has had it really tough the past few months with losing his job, other career commitments and trying to find the rent every month are many hurdles he is facing. He says there is just too much stress but he still loves me and he mentioned that we will probably get back together in a couple of months. Upon leaving him 2 weeks ago, he hugged me sobbing and told me he would contact me in 2 weeks. I said 2 weeks a month whenever as I still love him. Right, the 2 weeks are up on Tuesday and I haven't heard from him at all. I have reflected on this relationship and I am not sure whether getting back with him is a good idea as I don't want to add to his stress. He's been on a break with me before for the same reasons this time 2 years ago, so right now I am having deja vu!! but this time I don't want to get my hopes up as we did get back together before. I've been trying to get on with my life the past couple of weeks even though I constantly think about him. It hasn't helped that both of our relationship status on facebook have remained as in a relationship with each other. He also still has me on msn but I have blocked him, but I can see when he is still online. Does this mean he still wants me? or am I being stupid? It gives me hope and it is harder to move on and prepare myself for the worst! If I haven't heard from him by Tuesday do you think it is best to contact him? or maybe wait a month instead and then get the final answer from him??Any feedback would be a great help as I feel sooo confused right now. Thank you so much!! xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): I had a similar situation for the first time last fall with my bf of 5 years. He is a very sensitive guy who was under tremendous stress at the time. Most advice I got was do not contact him at all. Meanwhile, I felt terrible, didn't know what was going on and felt that the longer he went with not contact, the more I could not consider being with him again. For my own peace of mind, I needed to contact him as I was not willing to continue on wondering and worrying and losing touch with him. Further, he is my best friend and I needed to try to salvage that if I could, but I couldn't go on not knowing if he felt the same way.
I called and e-mailed and he came over. We talked for weeks and we are now back together and understanding each other's needs a lot better.
I do not agree that this means he is with someone else. I mean it could be, but I don't think that gives him much credit.
It is an individual thing. You said 2 weeks or a month, but he asked for 2 weeks. If you are feeling upset and losing sleep over this, and if are ready for the possibility that he may not want to be together ( I would rather know where it stands), then I think you should call or email him. Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (17 January 2009):
 I wouldn't contact him. I'm not sure what this break is about, but quite honestly there's probably another girl he's experimenting with. I'm sure he loves you, but he himself said he can't handle a relationship right now which is a HUGE clue that he can't handle a relationship with you. Plus, he's done this before, so who's to say he won't do it again? Don't live your life in limbo. If he calls you later, great. If not, cut your losses and move on.
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