A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband walked out on me over 2 weeks ago... I had no idea why, so I got the police to look for him.They eventually found him, but wouldn't tell me where he was, as they said he didn't want to be found.I feel dejected, depressed, empty and sick, knowing this.I should divorce him, but how am I supposed to serve him the papers when I have no idea where the hell he is??He's left me on my own and life is a struggle mentally (not financially, as I have a fair bit of money which is self-made, my family have a history of being good in business - not sounding boastful here).What do I do now and how do I cope?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (28 July 2009):
I agree with the others... this is indeed a sad thing, and he may have had some kind of mental snap - certainly, someone who doesn't want to be found (my ex-wife is amongst this group) has issues, and/or something they're hiding from, or in her case something in her mind she's hiding from... sad, but it happens.I divorced and was able to serve papers, but you may be able to do this absentee, and only post a leagal notice in the news - requirements vary by local, so get some good legal advice. In my case I needed to create legal seperation as I discovered that she'd been doing some illegal things with money and forgeries, and in my home state the spouse can be held liable - so I moved as quick as I could and alerted our bank to her actions. In the end I came out clean, but she's been running on and off ever sense.
A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (27 July 2009):
My appologies, i read it wrong.
I would still say that it sounds like he has some kind of break down and needed to escape. If it was only 2 weeks ago then i would actually suggest that you give him a month or so to come to his senses and come home but this is only on the condition that it is a breakdown and he has not run off with someone else.
It can be shocking what a little bit of preassue can do to someone mentally.
If you think this is a possibility and you think you could forgive him for what he has done then i would wait a month or two to see if he contacts you.
If there is no way to fix this and you could not forgive him for what he has done or if he is with another woman etc then do as i said before, try and move on and find something you enjoy to take you mind off of things. I am pretty positive that you will have to wait a long time before you can get a divorce without having to track him down,
i hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (27 July 2009):
I am very sorry to hear you are going through this.
It sounds to me like your husband may have had some form of break down of his own and decided to start a new life for himself.
This is understandably hard on you but as it was two years ago i would suggest you start to get your life back on track and do the same thing as him, start a fresh life and find someone who loves you and wants to be with you.
I would join a club of some kind, salsa dancing or art course, join something that will make you socialise with people and you will find you will start to stop thinking about what he did and look forward to whats to come in the new week.
You can divorce someone who has been absent and you dont know where they are. i would suggest you seek legal advice as this will help you get closure on that part of your life.
You are young enough to start again and i wish you all the best
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