A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I'll cut to the chase as quickly as possible, and i'm not trying to sound desperate if it comes off that way. This boy I've liked for almost a year is just absolutely amazing. But i found out some things about last year that is too much to explain, but the way i found out made it seem like he lead me on to use me(not sexually). I pretty much just bought him whatever he wanted for lunch during school. Well, i left for the summer and got over him but now that im back in town, i fell for him again. This time i thought it was a little different, because i found out he freaked out that i was gone all summer and when i got back he flipped out and was beyond happy(it seemed). And lately he's been flirting with me, like before so im use to it. Well, I seen him doing some of the other stuff he does to me, with another girl and found out from my friend he did it to her too. I don't feel so special anymore, but I really like him. No matter what I do, I can't get over him and I can't stop talking to him or hanging out with him at church. I want to get over him though, so badly. Since I've been back in town, for about a month, I just feel like i'm being played. My friends say he likes me, and even one time his friend asked if we were dating, cause of how he flirts with me. But I really don't see it, and right now i just DONT want to like him anymore...or ever again.
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 September 2013):
 Just stop paying or buying him things and he will do the job for you, making you accept that he is using you and disappear from your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): Like AB said you're romanticising this whole affectionate puppy dog attention thing from him, getting a bit of a buzz from it. Remember that when feelings are involved people always are love- blind to people's flaws.
You can now objectively see him for what he really is... A using freeloader. What's attractive or charming about that?? Like the others said DONT buy him one more thing and cut contact. Otherwise you're just guna go round in an unhappy circle.
He's mugging you and not worth the emotional effort. He's shown that if you let him use you he will.
There's surely someone better that will treat you with the care and love you deserve right? He's attracted to you but happy to use you... Not that great a character tbh.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 This young man obviously has a way with the ladies and likes the benefits it's affording him, such as free lunches and lots of attention.He does not return your feelings because if he did he would be seeking you out and buying you lunch and taking you on dates.You are young and in love with the idea of being in love.Step back and look at who he really is and what he's doing? His behaviour is rude, thoughtless, selfish and hurts people but all the while young ladies continue behaving toward him this way he'll carry on.Remember he's probably laughing at all of you ladies with his mates about how gullible you all are and how much stuff he gets for nothing!Stop hanging out with him or being in places where he might be. If you can't avoid that then ignore him and focus on real friends. I can guarantee he will hate not being the focus of your attention and try to get you to notice him but don't fall for it.This guy is becoming a player and they're not worth the effort.Fill your time with fun, friends and activities and maybe you'll meet a decent guy who is worthy to be your boyfriend.Good Luck AB x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 Honey, if you were buying ME lunch everyday,I'll be overjoyed too to see you back :). That ( the convenience ) and the POWER. Users really hate when the people they use get wiser and stop being at their beck and call - an user will get his kicks not just from what he can get materially ( that, in your case, is really very modest ) but from KNOWING they can assert their dominance and have you do stupid stuff.
Don't be silly :) - he flirts with you because he gets something out of it , materially and psichologically. MAYBE he also likes you, in the sense in which any boy his age likes ANY girl who is reasonably attractive, or even just not totally , unredeemably unattractive. He likes you because you are a girl, who gives him attention, and that's enough to tickle his hormons and give him a good feeling ( As shown by the fact that he also flirts with other girls ). But even if now he should like you a bit more than before, so what ? He has shown himself a total tool toward you, and he does not DESERVE you to like him back or give him any attention. And you should really change your tastes in boys, and aim for something better !
I am afraid that , unless you change your way to interact with him, you are in a fix and you'll stay in a fix. You'll never move on, you'll never lose your feelings for such an inappropriate match, until you FEED them- you need to starve them, then let time work its magic.
You say you can't stop talking to him and you can't stop hanging out with him. No, actually you CAN, you don't want to do it so you CHOOSE to keep hanging in there and hoping who knows what. The choice is yours of course. But keep in mind that while right now cutting him off may feel difficult and painful, in time it would be even more painful to keep letting him make a fool out of you.
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