A
female
age
36-40,
*haday1729
writes:MY boyfriend of six months wants to stop having sex with me... when we started dating our relationship was about sex.. The first thing that we both had in common was that we were very inmate with each other... now he wants to stop having sex because of God and how it's a sin and he wants to become pure.. Which I can respect but now he told me he wants to stop sleeping in the same bed... I only get to see him once a week in the first place.. This decision he made on his own is making my heart suffer. I don't know what to say to him. I want to support him but I don't agree all the way. I want this relationship to continue. I love him but sex is a big thing to me and I've never been with a boyfriend and have not been intimate with them on a caring level. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): When a young girl wants to wait for sex until she's ready there is a lot of support for it. Nobody says it's her job to put out for the BF.
I think you should at least consuder this from that point of view. It sounds like your BF is deciding that he's no longer "ready" for sex anymore. See if he is still willing to have some intimacy with you of lesser kinds. That is not an unreasonable demand.
But you may still just need to break it off. If you can't accept things the way they are now, you're free to break things off with him and seek it with someone else. Time will tell.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 March 2009):
Well if it's a relationship based on sex as you say then it seems the relationship will have to come to an end.
He's made a choice to love God more than sex, and that means he loves God more than your relationship.
Unless you are willing to be with this guy as a loving girlfriend based only on your friendship and intellectual similarities, and then marry him... then I think you need to wish him luck and move on.
Relationships should never have sex as the main thing you have in common. Monkeys have relationships based on having sex, we humans need more than that.
Find a guy who you can connect with and you'll be amazed how much better the sex is anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (19 March 2009):
 If sex is important to you in a relationship, than he may not be the right person for you right now.
When someone strongly believes in his faith, where absolutism is highly valued, you may not be able to dissuade him against abstinence that his religion teaches him. At some stage, you and will become in-compatible on two levels (well, one really), religion and sex.
If you started your compatibility with sex, and now that has gone out the window, then you have no compatibility with him anymore. However, if you started as friends on the intellectual and mind levels, then sex can be on the back burner until he is ready again.
If you had witnessed his process of being religious, you would have seen this coming and would have taken appropriate steps earlier. Be it to say good bye to him, or to learn together with him. A decision to embrace a new belief is normally does not happen "all of a sudden", so If he did not share this thought process with you, then maybe he does need time to work on his own on this new found belief. Unless he has ulterior motives.
Good luck in whatever decision you think is best for you.
Cat
...............................
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (19 March 2009):
 If you really want to stay in the him,this could be an opportunity to develop real intimacy in your relationship. There are other ways to show fondness and affection besides having sex. You can still kiss, cuddle and hug and be romantic; this may actually be a chance for both of you to learn how to listen to what is going on in each other's life. Oh, and get a vibrator.Now, if the lack of sex is REALLY more than you can bear, it might be time to move on.
...............................
|
