A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hmm really need some advice...For the past year ive become really close to my best friend who knew my other friends before me. Id like to point out at this stage that he is a boy and is gay.Anyway i love him to pieces and dont know what i would do without him, he's my best friend. Weve got so much in common good taste in fashion, boys we like etc and we spend a lot of time together at school and going out shopping.A lot of people are jealous of our relationship especially my ex boyfriend who is convinced there is something going on no matter how many times i tell him my best friend is gay...However, hes not the only person who thinks this, ive heard a lot of the boys at school saying how he just pretends to be gay because hes trying to get with girls and it makes it easier... i dont believe this and always stick up for him but he doesnt make it easy on himself for example he made out with two girls at a party we went to a couple of months ago :| he also slept with a boy that night...He told me its the effect alcohol has on him and trust that but yesterday he said to me "do you know what would be funny, if you and me made out at a party" i laughed it off, and he said "thing is neither of us would care, we just laugh about it" but do you think this was just an offhand comment or was he trying to say something? I just dont know what to think, he treats me like im his girlfriend, touching me, hugging/kissing me but he's gay... always going out with boys and remarks all the time what boys he thinks are fit.sorry for the long essay here but i just dont know what to think... he;s my best friend and i love him so much i dont want to lose him for any reason...
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female
reader, 738  +, writes (2 February 2010):
Hmm... i dont believe someone can just be completely gay i think he likes you alot you should just kiss him and see what happens cuz you dont want to miss out on anything!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): uh oh. You need to be alert.
Even if there is something there, this is the ultimate con. He can turn around any time and say that he's actually gay!
My gay friend was like that too. Would flirt and flirt and we hung out every day, and he'd call me all the time. And everyone wondered.
But thankfully, when we talked about it we agreed that while we could easily go to bed with each other he'd always be gay and we would just spoil a very good friendship.
I stayed sensible because I knew somewhere that my comfort with him comes from the fact that he said he's gay and also that he'd never act on the flirting, really.
That said, I felt he and other gay men (maybe those who are still deciding) want to prove to themselves that they are real men and they can get girls if they decide... so that leads them to become horrible heartbreakers. They'll string you along and never admit to anything but hint, and hint and give mixed messages.
So let him play whatever he's playing at. Don't get into it. If there is something there, he'll have to come out and say it.
If your feelings are already involved, do not encourage making out etc because you'll end up in a mess. After all, you cannot possibly be a man...
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A
female
reader, angel amy +, writes (2 February 2010):
 hey, it sounds alot lke my friend that i have. I think it must be something about gay lads to be honest. maybe he is just trying to show that he is stil a male and trying to be the 'jack the lad' still although you know he is gay. or perhaps is he loneley? he might just feel the need for love, but if he steps out of line e.g touching you if u dont want to be touched or kissing you a bit too much, tell him and let him know how you feel.
hope ive helped, good luck x
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