A
female
age
30-35,
*ooki__11
writes:Im going to try get this out quickly. So this guy I had a major thing for kissed me, but then afterwards mentioned nothing about it. I was really upset but then found out he had tried to kiss another girl the same night he kissed me. I was devastated, but he owed me nothing (we were nothing). I told him off, he apologised and said he wanted to be friends.So I made an effort and spoke to him to try to be his friend, to show him I wasnt still mad, at one point he got the shits with me and told me he didnt wanna talk to me right now. So I didnt initiate any contact with him since then. Recently he started talking to me again as normal and invited me to hang out with him and his friends (something he has never done before).I am so over him, I would never be with a guy who has done this, but due to our line of work chances are we will keep running into each other, and in a platonic way Iv always enjoyed hanging with him.I hate the way he treats me (hot and cold) but Im curious about hanging with him. Should I go? If I dont go it might seem like Im still holding a grudge but if I do go I feel like Im subservient to him. Iv invited him places in the past and he bailed. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): Original Poster here. Thanks for your advice, we work for the same people so are often put on projects together. We dont see each other often but when we do its often in quite close quarters. I no longer see him as someone I want in a romantic way so there is no chance of me persuing that. Its more a pride thing at this point and what will be good for my career. I feel like a should be mad at him and punish him for being so rude to me (if he was anyone else Id probably want him out of my life). If I go, do I look weak? I guess thats what Im wondering. Wouldnt a strong women tell him to get lost?
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (1 February 2012):
Hi there. Do you work together for the same company?
So you will see each other every day?
Or, is it that you will have contact by phone for instance, through your company having business dealings with his company?
Some reasons for his hot and cold could be:-
He could be shy.
Perhaps he isn't ready to go into a full relationship type situation, just yet.
If he asks you to hang out with him and you actually DO want to go, then go.
And if you DON'T want to go out, then don't go.
And if you do decide to go, go without expectation of it being anything more than just friends.
And just act like a friend, and nothing more. Keep it light and friendly and fun. No pressure.
To be anything more than just friends, you both need to want the same thing.
And at this point, it doesn't seem to be that way.
So from now on, just take things very slowly.
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