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female
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anonymous
writes: I dated my boyfriend a little over a year, but ended it because I didn't want to commit to him. Later, we decided to become "friends with benefits", if you get my drift. Then he started seeing another girl at the same time. I only recently discovered to my horror that he was sleeping with her AND me! I was deeply hurt and angered- at him and myself. I told him I refused to sleep with him while he was seeing her. While she's little more than a "lapdog" to him, he seems to be in no hurry to end things with her. He's a control freak and I know he's taking me for a ride. I've since blocked his phone number and e-mail. Yet he keeps calling my cell to check up on me- why?? Any ideas on how I should handle this?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Youve done the right thing..altho your not together therefore you have no hold over what he does with who..if you want him for yourself then commit if you dont and you dont want to share him then let go.
A
female
reader, not again +, writes (15 October 2005):
Probably the hardest part of this for you in realising that you have been taken for a ride. Something similar happened to me and it really hurt. You kinds can't help but have expectations, aye? I went to a party with my ex boy (we were both just having a little bit of casual sex) and he went home with another girl- arm and arm! Infront of me! Wow, was I devestated. It was a big wake up call. I don't know why we put ourselves in that position. But anyway, you need to get out cos otherwise you will just get hurt more. Keep your dignity. It is good thatyou have cut him off. Like some of the others said- I spose he did have a right to see other people, but I also think he had a responsibility to tell you.
Get him out of your life. No matter how you feel about him (hate or that you still want him) deal with your feelings and find yourself a healthy, loving relationship! As oje chick on dear cupid once said: often we are only with people who love us as much as we THINK we DESERVE, not what we actually deserve. Go well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): Rommana said it well. That is why "friends with benefits" never work out. There's always going to be one person who wants more. When it's only one person, then you get this. Learn from this and move on.
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female
reader, Rommana +, writes (14 October 2005):
I'm sorry but what did you expect ?you have no rights expecting him not to see other girls in fact any other guys it's up to him he owes you nothing except a frill in the sheets every now and again after all you chose not to be in a committed relationship.Don't exspect love respect commitment etc. You wanted to be his fuck buddy now you have been fucked!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2005): i think you should cut your loses. it seems like he is only interested in the sex. why else have 2 on the go? if you are not comfortable with him sleeping with other girls why did you call it off? it sounds like you wanted too much. it is time to make a choice. do you want a monogomous relationship, or an open relationship? you cant have both.
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