A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me.I have this boyfriend and I love him very much but he doesn't seem to care that much about me. Its my birthday coming up and he said that I shouldn't be surprised if he forgets - which upset me because I made a real fuss over him on his. I asked him to take a day off so we could spend it together and he told me he couldn't take time off but then a few days later he told me booked 2 days off to go out drinking with his friends.I even asked him to see if he could get a night off to see a show to which he said he got, then it slipped out that he was meant to ask for it.What should I do, please could anyone give me advice about what I should do. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Tell him that you have a show and dinner booked for the two of you for that evening and then call him EVERY SINGLE DAY. Remind him, it's MY BIRTHDAY in 8 days! It's my Birthday in one week! Next Friday is my birthday. Can't wait to see that show on my Birthday... Tell him SO often that he doesn't have ANY excuse to get out of it, and if he still begs off, Dump Him! Because at that point, You will know for sure that he put himself first, and that he Always will, and that he doesn't care about your feelings, and therefore, YOU.
Then celebrate and go to the show with a good friend instead.
If the guy that you are dating shows obvious signs of selfishness, then it's up to you to stand up for yourself and date a guy who truly loves you and treats you with respect. Find someone who will cherish you and treat you the way that you wish to be treated. You deserve it.
I hope that he comes around and that you do have a very Happy Birthday.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 If it were me in your shoes, I would organize the birthday myself, and not include him in the plans, as he's clearly made others and your birthday is not a priority for him.
I would call up all my girlfriends, and go out and paint the town, being sure to flirt harmlessly with the most handsome guy in each venue. I would dance, and laugh, and have a great time with my girl friends.I would stay out late, and not call him for at least two days after the birthday. That should give the grapevine enough time to let him know that you were out without him, and couldn't care less if he celebrated your birthday without him.
It sounds to me like you are putting most of the effort into this relationship; it might not be a bad idea to give him a little chance to miss you and to worry about what you might be up to without him. Seems childish, I know, but sometimes you need to give this kind of boyfriend a taste of his own medicine.
I'm not really clear on what your second paragraph means. Did he say he had booked the show, but then let it slip that he hadn't, but that he still intended to?
At any rate, I think you need to back off him for a while and give him a taste of your absence, he may be taking you for granted. And, to be honest, he may not have wanted a huge fuss made over his birthday. This is the tricky thing about couple's communication, sometimes one does something for the other with the expectation that the gesture will be reciprocated, and the other partner totally misses that message.
Maybe the best thing to do is just to have a good heart-to-heart talk with him about your feelings and your expectations. You need to listen to what he says about his feelings and his expectations too, this type of talk goes both ways....
Happy birthday, and I hope everything works out for you.
...............................
|
