A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry for the long story..but it all started a few months ago.My boyfriend and I live together.I cook and clean and cater to him and his friends. I'm a fairly submissive girlfriend. We've been living together for almost a year now.For the past few months he's been jealous to the point of not letting me make new male friends or talking to any of them except one. He also told me that he wants to have sex with other women, but won't because he's with me. But he told me that he thinks about it. He wants me to get another girl to have a threesome, which would be ok except for the fact that he just wants to be with other girls w/o "cheating" on me. However, he rarely wants to have sex with me. If I'm lucky, maybe once a week, and it is always initiated by me.I did hang out with a good guy friend of mine at the mall(with no romantic intentions) and didn't tell my boyfriend. He found out and theatened to kick me out, because of this. I understand yes, I lied, and that is not ok. We patched that up somewhat and were ok for 2 weeks. But I felt like he was trying to use that as an excuse to break up with me.Just last night we got into a fight because he was out until 5am (and had work at 8)and was at a party with girls, and I was upset because of the double standard. I don't care that he goes out. i trust him. But he got very annoyed that I brought that up and made me sleep on the couch.Now HE is annoyed again with me today and said "we have to talk" He gets home at 9. I have a feeling that he is going to dump me.I just need opinions on this. I love him more than anything in the world, but
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Your story seems to confirm the theory that the more a person is jealous the more he/she is likely to cheat. Because they project on you what THEY could do if they were in your shoes. So also an innocent stroll at the mall becomes in their mind a chance to cheat.
Anyway, yes, unlikely it sounds like the threesome idea is sort of a way to explore fresh pastures... with your permission, and it sounds like he is picking up fights on purpose to show you that "it's not working out ".
What if he dumps you ?... Well, you may not see it like this right now, but it could be a blessing in disguise.
You do not sound very happy in this relationship. Your emotional and physical needs are not being met, you are being disrespected and he is applying double standards. So why are you hanging on to him for dear life ?? Don't you want something better ? Maybe if you look inside yourself you'll find out that your attachment comes less from love and more from insecurityt, low self estem, or fear of the unknown. Life is perhaps giving you a good chance to challenge yourself and your weaknesses and come out as the winner.
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