A
female
age
51-59,
*ettred
writes:I have a friend, we meet at Church and all. We talk for a while on the phone, then he invited me over to his apartment we talk and learn about each other past relationship. He is single and so am I. We have been talking for some months now. SO, he told me that he love me first, I was speechless, cos he told me that we are just friend,but yet and still he get mad about other guy. I'am very confused about us. Sometime he act like we are dating or something. But when I as him he say that he is not ready for a relationship so, I respect that. But i'm in love with him and I do know that he love me also. I need some help on what to do about this friendship that we have. We have even made love. We both have been hurt with past relationship I told him that I had to learn to trust men, he was hurt by a past relationship also, He did amite to me that he is afraid, I told him so am I. But we got to get beyond that and not let something good get away. Please help me if you can. Thanks Bettred Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): Continue to go to CHURCH.
You have made love and your not even having a relationship?
Getting mad at other guys shows anger in his heart.
Please take time to study these observations. These are flags for problems that have developed in each of you individually, because of your last relationships.
Explore your hurt and pain together, it may take 6 months a year, even more before you should move on.
Life isn't a fast food restuarant.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Bettred +, writes (13 August 2008):
Bettred is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just want to thank the people who help solve my question. It really was a great help and some very good advice for me and him. I'm going to hang in there cos, I really like him alot and I know that he feel the same way. Thank you again. Bettred
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A
female
reader, Bettred +, writes (13 August 2008):
Bettred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to thank both of you for your response. They both were to the point and so much true. I'm going to be patient and wait, cos I really like him and I know that he like me to. So, thanks again. bettred
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (13 August 2008):
 Hi there, Sounds as if you both have the makings of a good relationship. But he is hanging back and you want to move forward. Why not take the time to get to know each other better, and not rush things, I know you feel as if it is going very slow, but what better thing to do than to take the time to learn who you both are, learning to be intimate
and to connect with each other can be the best thing to solidify a relationshipo in the future. Don't rush things, enjoy the ride, you both have trust issues, build to where you are content with your partner and he with you. What is your boyfriend's middle name, what is his favorite color, where did he go to junior high school, are you able to answer these questions? Building trust takes time, give yourself that and do not push things, you will have such a more fulfilling relationship, if you take it slow. He is jealous so you know he cares, he is not yet ready to expose himself fully to you. Let him have his time to get there.
Do not force him. Please stay in touch. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): For some guys being afraid is all it takes to stop them from having a relationship. If he is not ready then he's not ready. Pushing him wont make him decide faster. My suggestion is wait it out as long as you want to. If its hurting you too much to be "inbetween" then i say tell him that you are sorry and you really love him but the situation you guys are in is not what you want. But if you think that in the end it could be worth it then stick with it. Its possible for Relationships to fall apart if the timing is bad. Being on the same page is ideal for a healthy relationship. If you decide its worth it then let me just say, go into it with no expectations. Ride it out and see how it goes but dont get your hopes up and think that just because you stuck around that he should have wanted to be with you. You've got to decide what YOU want and follow that. Things will work out they way they were ment to.
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