A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been friends and getting to know this guy for a month now. We hang out and he messages me everyday through text without fail.So two days ago we were texting because both of us were about to go to bed, before he says goodnight he says he is falling in love with me. It was probably a good thing he said it through text and not to my face about it because I literally had no idea what to say. And I still don't.My question is, is it possible for someone to fall in love that quickly with someone or is he just thinking that if he says the right things it will get me to let my guard down and have easy accesses to get into my pants?My gut is telling me that he isn't really in love with me but rather he may be infatuated with me.Also before anyone says I may be leading him on, I'm not, it takes a while for me to trust people and I do like the guy, I'm just not falling in love with him as quickly as he says he has falling for me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 November 2016):
 Oh well that is horrible, at least you where true to yourself and you found out now. Hate when people use the love word to get what they want. At least your intuition was right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo aunt honesty, I did tell him I wanted to wait before it leads to that and I got no response. Not even his normal habit of wishing me good morning text. Oh wells plenty of fish in the sea.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (30 November 2016):
Yip it is pretty clear that he wants sex. However if you tell him you want to wait then maybe he will wait and maybe it will show that he wants more than that. I mean he is human after all so don't shut him down to quickly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI won't give a play by play of what all of the text said so the short version of it this."From the moment we've met I want to ravage you. Every time I think about you they seem to be naughty."And the most recent text he just sent was "We should hang out so I can show you the way I've been thinking about you all day ;)"So I think its pretty clear what he wants.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Well I am happy that you got to the truth without wasting a lot of time. I'm disappointed in him. He isn't the first or the last you will find with the 3 date rule. I do agree that it is particularly rotten to pull the I love you card just to seal the deal.
Hang in there there are guys who are in it for the long game. Just remember waiting sometimes backfires on guys, (I should say high drive persons) so you may miss some who will see your request for a long courtship to be a sign of disinterest in sex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 November 2016):
Did he say all he wants is sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo everyone who responded, thank you!
For the people who mentioned taking things slow and put a time limit before the sex thing. Well I don't need to wait any longer, it appears what he wants has come to light and what he wants is sex. He made that clear with his text that h sent this morning that I was only able to read it just a few minutes ago.
So I guess my gut feeling was right. Again many thanks for the advice :)
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (29 November 2016):
Thanks for the follow up!
I have a little more to add based more on what others have said than what you are saying. In this case your gut is telling you exactly what you are predisposed to believe. It is not intuition it is you following your script. How has your script worked in the past?
"Refrain from sex and see if he sticks around."
"Let him prove it first. The longer you wait to get intimate, the more you will know what he is really after.
Simple rules...Minimum 3 months...No kiss, no sex, just talk... So two months to go before even a kiss." These are also good advice. You are inclined to want more proof and this is a good way to weed out the players. IMHO no one should get involved sexually until they have those feelings for themselves. so wait not for some arbitrary time, but until you DO have the Trust you lack now.
As far as letting him know how little you trust him. Don't have that conversation unless you are prepared to break up. For now just say you aren't ready for that yet. Not ready for sex not ready for kissing not ready for saying I Love You. Where ever it is that you honestly are.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (29 November 2016):
"My gut is telling me that he isn't really in love with me but rather he may be infatuated with me."
Most women have very good intuitions :)
Let him prove it first. The longer you wait to get intimate, the more you will know what he is really after.
Simple rules...Minimum 3 months...No kiss, no sex, just talk... So two months to go before even a kiss.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 November 2016):
Just be honest with him, tell him that it is lovely to hear, but that it takes you a while longer to trust someone to let your guard fully down. If he does love you then he will respect your decision and honesty. If am going to be honest though I doubt he would spend a month dating you if all he wanted was sex. But again that depends how much effort he has made in the last month. How many times has he took you out on a date?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Fatherly advice, he is actually older than I am. I know that doesn't make any difference but there you have it. Also I never told him I didn't trust him, the only thing I said a few weeks back was that I didn't trust people easily and i'm hesitant in believing people when they tell me they have feelings for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016): I think it's possible to fall in love in a month, however you shouldn't feel pressured to feel the same toward him. Take it slow. If he does mean it, then he'll find everything worth the wait.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2016): A month? And he is telling you he is falling in love with you? LOL
That's bullshit!
He's one smooth operator!
This is my advice.
If you want to be his fuck buddy, go for it. This is exactly what he wants.
If you want a real relationship with him, then put him to the TEST.
Refrain from sex and see if he sticks around.
That is how you will know.
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A
female
reader, Amouramour +, writes (28 November 2016):
Honestly, and this is exclusively my personal opinion, love, true love, isn't a feeling, it's a choice, an action... something we do. A verb. The "feeling" of "love" is just a fruit of genuine love. Well, I also believe that anything is possible BUT true love is only tested when life and all of its intricacies finally start intruding into an intimate relationship...when it's no longer fireworks and butterflies, YET you still CHOOSE to love another, that is when you know it's love. I believe that this guy may or may not have pure intentions. He may just be very immature and is mistaking love for lust. Personally, and it's happened before, when a man I have dated says "I love you" so soon into the relationship, that poses as a red flag. Why are they falling for me so fast and would they be putty in any beautiful woman's hands? Something to think about.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 1 month really seems a short amount of time to fall in love. If you're not ready for intimacy yet then make him wait, if he really is in love then he will have no problem waiting until you're ready.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 November 2016):
He may know his heart, at your age he should. It depends a lot on his experience. Does he know how little you trust him? As much as you resist physical intimacy, you seem very open to emotional intimacy.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (28 November 2016):
 My advice is to take things slowly.
If you need time to trust someone fully - then take the time. Don't sleep with him. If he really is so crazy about you he will respect your wishes.
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