A
female
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*inklinglaughter
writes:OK..my boyfriend and I were talking the other day about how I never have an orgasm from intercourse. He always has to go down on me to make me have one. So, anyway, we were talking and he told me that his ex used to orgasm from intercourse and that once when she came, she pushed him so hard he fell back, and her cum was all over him. He'd told me earlier that she came like that when he'd go down on her too. He also told me that she used to be dripping wet when they'd have sex, literally, and he described how...It affected me, because neither do I come that way nor do I get so wet with him. It's not that I can't get wet, but I think it's coz we don't have grrrreat chemistry, which I have had with other people. However, I don't orgasm from intercourse. I never have. This has made me feel that he doesn't like sex with me all that much..because of how he talked about his ex, and I just don't enjoy it as much anymore too..because I keep thinking about how he would like it, and how I'm not like her. Does it really make that much of a difference to him? Or am I over-reacting to this? Please help..It's making me feel depressed!
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female
reader, tinklinglaughter +, writes (5 November 2006):
tinklinglaughter is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks!! There are some great suggestions..I'll be trying them real soon.. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): I think it does make a difference to men when the woman does not have orgasms during sex.
Your boyfriend is making a grave mistake by telling you about the sexploitations between hin and his ex and I think this is messing with your mind and contributing to your lack of sexual confidence and trust with this man.
You should tell him to stop this immediately and that it hurts you deeply when he talks about her in this way.
You might then stop having sex with him for awhile and tell him you need some romance without sex to build trust in your relationship. When you are feeling comfortable, have your boyfriend draw you a warm bath with scented oils, take time to relax before sex, and have him caress and massage you gently and speak sweet things to you, and then go for foreplay and if you have an orgasm then, great! It does not always have to hsppen with full penetration, but one way to make that happen is to be on top, be in control of the movement, and forget about everything else except the sensations...and relax! Trust is a major issue here, if that is lacking, you are going to have difficulty, so work on that and take it a step at a time....good luck and don't worry too much and it will happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): sweetie who is he with now? you! he is with you now not his ex. think that all the time when u r feeling down if he didnt like sex with you would he still b with you i dont think so! he has chosen u and has left her aint he? now concentrate on other ways like other positions and sex toys to kink it up a little bit. Trust me he may like u been dressed up in a nurses out fit or a police out fit and if u try other positions that u aint ever tried b4 or tried with him then that mite work.
Good Luck hun
All me love
x0x0x0
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A
female
reader, tinklinglaughter +, writes (4 November 2006):
tinklinglaughter is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much...you really helped me get a good perspective on the situation! Thanks again! I really appreciate it. :)
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (4 November 2006):
 All women are different, but your boyfriend is deluding himself.
I will let you in on a secret; Your boyfriend's ex was FAKING it every time except that one time and when he went down on her. Women who have a discharge when they come have a hard time faking it, for it is impossible to fake the discharge. Only a VERY inexperienced man could be duped into believing a fake without discharge.
If your boyfriend had a clue about a woman's body you would be having orgasms and he would have figured out his ex was faking it.
If you love your boyfriend you need to take matters in your own hands literally and figure out what makes you cum. You can buy or check out books from the library on female sexuality to explore your own body. You should try clitoris stimulation, if you want to push for a vaginal orgasm then you need to find your g-stop with your fingers or dildo. Learn to relax and enjoy the sensations and focus on the feelings and not on your life outside. Once you have an orgasm and know how you did it then you can guide your completely clueless boyfriend in the right sexual direction.
If this relationship is not worth it find a man who understands or is willing to learn about the woman's body and please you sexually. As a break-up gift give your boyfriend the joy of sex, at least he might get a bit less clueless with the next girl.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (4 November 2006):
 I have only come once in 17 years from penetrative sex alone! Hardly any of my friends have either. Statistics suggest that most women don't come from penetration alone anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it at all! It's not just because you don't have great chemistry with him either, as you say you have got plenty wet with others and to be honest now he's probably given you a slight complex about the whole thing. If you're excited enough by other men then maybe it's his shortcomings that you're not coming all over the place ! I reckon he's exaggerating the truth anyway. Who cares how great she was, he's with you now isn't he ? We're all different and he's making you feel insecure about your sexuality. You're not over reacting you're just normal. Men love sex whatever, sounds like he could be trying to make you feel jealous to me. Get confident and if he mentions it again put him in his place girl !
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