A ,
anonymous
writes: I've been seeing a guy for a few months which started as a sex based fling, but I started to fall for him and wanted our relationship to move on. He told me at the start that he had a girlfriend who he said he was not that interested in and that he was going to leave. We had so much fun together and have lots in common but he wouldn't open up to me or commit. He said he wanted to be with me and was going to leave his girlfriend but he still hasn't. His wife left him 5 years ago for another man and he still talks about her and sees her and her family quite often. I think he won't commit to either me or his girlfriend cos he can't move on from his ex wife. I have finished the relationship and he said he would contact me when he was single. That was about 3 weeks ago. I've had a couple of texts from him saying he was thinking of me etc. but am I wasting my time waiting for him?
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (7 June 2005):
Sounds as though he wanted his cake as well as eating it!! He was in a relationship, with someone else who was prepared to have sex with him. You were probably just a handy person to run to when he was feeling like some different company, and kept you sweet by saying that he wanted to be with you. Move on, let him get on with his life, by all accounts he is very selfish, go and find someone who cares for you as you do them and not someone that just wants a fling with you.
A
reader, Crazy_About_B +, writes (7 June 2005):
Yes you are! I've been in one of those relationships before.I was going with this boy named Q(not his real name). We broke after four days because he said that he needs to clear his head. So I wait months for him to come back to me but he never did so I got in to a relationship with someone else,but I was still waiting for Q to ask me out.He never did.I was friends with his sister so I would write him notes and call him on the phone and ask him if he wanted to go with but he kept on saying"I'll think about it." Until one day before we was getting on our buses to go home he gave me a hug and a kiss and said "yes". At first I was trying to think about what he was saying "yes" to then I remembered what I had asked him. Then he said he was going to call me when he got home. We started going together April 15 and we are still going together and it is June 6. So all I have to say to you is move on with your life but keep waiting until the time comes and if you are in a good relationship with someone else keep that person and don't brake up with them just because he finally came to you.Tell him " I waited all this for you to come around,but I finally found someone who truly makes me happy and if you really want to get with me you would wait like I did."
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):
Yes, get over him. And remember starting anything remotely similar to a fling is just that- a fling. And next time you hear the phrase "I have a girlfriend, but I'm not interested in her..." get the hell outta there. Watch yourself with your feelings if the flings are going to continue. Take care.
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