A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 17 and ive been with my bf for 1 year and 2 months. a while bak he said to me that hed been thinking of his ex girlfriends family and thought i should know as he felt guilty. but a few weeks later during an argument he told me that he wasnt thinking bout her family he was thinking bout her sexually and masterbated over her. i was devestated n really hurt, he also told me he masterbates over other girls i know in collage. He said hes sorry and wont ever do again. and everytime i asked him he said he hadnt masterbated over them but last night during a serious convo he told me that he had still been doing it. i just feel so hurt not only is it because he keeps lying to me but i just feel as though im not good enough. what have they got that i havent. i mean he seems to go for girls who are slapped up in makeup and miniskrits etc but im not like them, and i feel like im not right for him. i feel ugly n horrible. ive cried bout this soo much, i was beginning to get over it and started trusting him again but last night when he told me, im realy heart broken. ive tried to talk to him about it the last time but he didnt understand,i pretended last night i was ok bout it. i mean he often calls me podgy and says harsh stuff, if i get upset bout it he says im only messing, but he doesnt understand how i feel,i dont know what to do. i feel useless. im fed up of crying but i love him so much. is it normal for a guy to masterbate over their ex and other girls i know. i no they look at porn. but his ex i dont understand why? i mean i never look at other guys in a sexual way as hes good enough for me. dnt need others. he says that he may see a girl during the day and think core shes nice than later on he will masterbate over her. his ex dumped him, do u think hes still attracted to her n has feelings for her still?do u think im being used.? please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): Hello babe i was just reading your question and i'll tell you what i think .. his ex dumped him so that prooves he still has feelings for her cause it was her dision not his and i'm so sorry to let you know this. Keep your chin up babe i think you should end it no matter how hard it feels and how much you love him! cause if you end it , it was your desion not his ! and your in charge now your the independant one who is;nt going to stand for this much longer make him see that he has lost a beautiful girl like you. don't ever down yourself! cause every minute of everyday somebody is thinking about you,cares for you ! ignore him and his exs ! proove you don't care even though you still might nobody is perfect! NOBODY ! xx so remember your to good for him let him masterbate over his exs he's only doing that cause he can't have a chance with her ! god knows why she ended it. it might of been the same thing. i know its hard !! to doo this but if i was u doll i would proove to him your to good for him by dumping him ! and leaving him i think thats whats best x
A
female
reader, Patient1  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Girl, you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. He's obviously very immature, but not only that he is tearing down your self esteem. It's not your fault at all, please don't look down on yourself for his actions because you've done nothing wrong. Some people just have different preferences and his (to me) is not reasonable when you're in a relationship. Yes, you should be enough for him and if you're not, then you need to move on because it will only get worse. You need to look at the long term picture here. Do you really think you could live the rest of your life with someone like that? You deserve much better dear, trust me, I've been in similar situations and at the time it was so hard to see because I blamed myself. Once I got past the hurting part I felt so much better when I looked back and realized that they were just selfish and/or immature. Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. You will be much better off without this guy, and trust me, there are many other good men out there who will love and respect you for who you are. Some of them are just deceitful pigs and I'm sorry to say that your boyfriend is one of them and 9 times out of 10 they don't change unless it's for the worst. Good luck! I really hope you do what's best for you. It's not fair that one person can impact the rest of your life over one's selfishness.
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