A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hey, I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about what he masturbates to. He said that he masturbates to me most of the time. And then he tells me sometimes porn and sometimes his ex-girfriends--Paige, Allie, and Kathleen I automatically got really concerned when he said his exes. He's so precise with remembering the exact ones too! I just feel as though i'm not enough for him, that the sex was better with his past girlfriends and that's the only reason he's masturbates thinking about them. He just says the memories of the sex doesn't cease to be hot just because they've stopped dating, and that it doesn't mean that he wants to get back together with them, but it's just sexy to think about. Basically good sex means good sex despite of however much time has transpired. And i can understand that, but it still worries me. And i find myself jealous of these memories! And i guess i'm just wondering if this is an issue i should be concerned about at all?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, yeahitsgreat +, writes (28 September 2007):
even if he s tinking of them, he is still with you. not them. i know it hurts to think of him thining of them but they were a part of his life. and now your in his life thats the bottom line.
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (27 September 2007):
Well, you don't need to be concerned about him. He has his head on strait. If he wanted to be with Paige, Allie or Kathleen he wouldn't have left them. He's with you because he WANTS to be. You obviously have the qualities he's looking for in a woman, sex included. I wouldn't worry about the porn, either, for pretty much the same reason.
The saying is that 95% of men masturbate, and the other 5% lie. The equipment is right there and it feels good. And he did say that most of the time he's thinking of you when he's polishing the scepter. No one thinks about the same person every time. It's perfectly normal.
What I worry about is your reaction. You need to make sure he can tell you honestly what's going on in his head regarding sex. He gave you the strait answer -- good for him! He's obviously very comfortable with you, and that says REALLY GOOD THINGS about your relationship. Don't ruin that by being over critical about what he says. You guys are on the right track. Take a deep breath and relax.
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