A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I think I seriously need help. Its been 3 months since we broke up and I asked for it. There's a quote from "Friends" when Monica said, "Don't do that guy thing where you go all distant and mean, just so that WE'LL break up with you." Cause that what I actually did. In the beginning, we started out as friends, great friends. We started to talk everyday even though we see each other at work all the time. Friendship bloomed to love. I fell in love with him completely. Never felt so comfortable with anyone in my life. While we were in our "honeymoon period", we were very much in love. But as months passed by, he started to pull himself away from me.My insecurities took over my emotions. I couldn't think straight. I did asked him what was wrong, but he never comply. All he kept on saying was nothing. So paranoia, obsession and insanity started to intensify. Fights after fights after fights. It was really emotionally tiring for us but I just could let him go.My insecurities made things worst. I can never get any answers from him unless I forced it out of him after a fight. One time, he was going through a really bad time with his family, again we fought like cats and dogs. I tried so hard to understand his situation but my paranoia went overdrive. It finally hit him that he lost his love for me from that day onwards. But he never told me that till now. We were still together after that incident. But I was oblivious cause all I could think was I was with him. My ex eventually told me that he starts to become distant because he started to feel stifled in the middle of the relationship, after we broke up. Two most vital information that could have helped out our relationship if he could have told me before. I regret for breaking up with him. I know as a girl I should be patient and if he really loves me, he would come back to me. But I became the same girl who broke us up and wanting him back with me. He said he doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't need a relationship in his life. He's 9 years older than me. Weird thing is, he really wants to be friends with me. He said we had a great friendship and shouldn't let our past ruined it. I ruined it all over again by reading a girl's blog and assumed he likes that girl. Sigh.Question: Why does he wants to be friends with me, why is it so important that he said he'll wait as long as it takes?Does he really mean it when he said he doesn't love me anymore?What does it mean when he doesn't need a relationship when we shared so many great memories together?Is this an obsession love all these while?I read what's the differences between love and obsession love. The few months of our relationship was exactly the explanation on love, but the last few months was like obsession love. I haven't been brutally honest with my friends about this cause it was hard for me.Please help, thank you.
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at work, broke up, fell in love, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): Thanks @Jmtmj, that's the first time I've got a guy's point of view.
Just forgot to slip in one more question; in the near future, after what I've done to him, would he want to get back with me?
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 You already have all the answers, you just have to accept them. Why do you think there is a double/secret meaning behind every answer/reason he gives?
"Question: Why does he wants to be friends with me, why is it so important that he said he'll wait as long as it takes?"
You had so many great memories together, does there really need to be a reason as to why anybody wants to be friends with anybody?
"Does he really mean it when he said he doesn't love me anymore?"
He wouldn't say he didn't love you if it wasn't true.
"What does it mean when he doesn't need a relationship when we shared so many great memories together?"
You guys didn't work out, he wants to be single for a while... again, no second meaning.
You really need to stop over-thinking these things or you're just going to end up torturing yourself. Its like you expect that everything he says is a mind-game... why is that?
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