A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing my current boyfriend for just over 1 year . he has recently told me that he doesn't enjoy receiving oral sex from me as I am not very good at it in fact I am quite bad at it and it doesn't do any thing for him . Now I enjoy oral sex as part of what is what I thought was an amazing sex life . I am very upset I asked him what was it that I was doing wrong and he couldn't explain . Now it has as far as I am aware not been an issue in previous relationships and its not like I am inexperienced in this regard . I asked him was it always bad and his answer was yes . I am devastated and feeling very upset about it . I got me thinking about other aspects of our sex life and there has been every couple of months issues that come up . The first was he said the more I want sex the more turned off he is so I stopped initiating sex altogether because being constantly rejected was getting me down. Then there is the issue that has been constant one which is that during sex he will decide that I have had enough and I am getting carried away with myself he will actually say this . i guess my question is considering all this is it worth it? Because I am feeling very down about the whole thing now and when I tried to discuss this with him he refused.
View related questions:
oral sex, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I agree with Dirtball, your guy doesn't sound very compassionate. However, here is the deal:
It is not unusual for a man to not enjoy oral sex from his partner. Oral sex TAKES 2. Yes, you are the one performing it, but every guy out there is different. What feels good to one man won't feel good on another. For good oral sex it takes practice and it takes the man explaining what feels good and what doesn't to him. In return, the woman must listen and make adjustments to satisfy her man. It takes time and it takes patience. Has your man ever spoken up during oral? Has he ever told you what he likes? Has he ever guided you? I'm guessing not, since you sound surprised about this whole thing. He needs to step up and help you.
Just for the record, all of this goes for pleasing women as well. Women need to speak up while we men are performing oral on them. Again, it all just takes time and patience.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 November 2010):
 He doesn't sound very compassionate to me. True story, the most experienced girl I've ever been with (30+ guys on her list at that time) gave me the worst head I've ever received. EVER. Experience doesn't always equal quality.
Really, a good guy would help guide you to what he likes. He would tell you what you're doing right and wrong. The girl in my story wouldn't take direction. It was terribly frustrating. If you're open to directions, then he's just an ass. To me, he sounds like he's not into you. He may not have as high a sex drive, but the things you've mentioned are incredibly insensitive. There are definitely better ways to breach that subject that won't leave you feeling like a worthless sack.
Refusal to discuss something is the mark of a failing relationship. The only way for a couple to work past their problems is through open communication about them. If he's not willing to talk, then it may be best to walk away.
...............................
|
