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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing a guy for 2 months (me 27, him 21) and wasn't sure where we stood. We didn't go out much and he wouldn't stay over after sex, so I suspected he was using me. I asked him where I stood and he said he saw me as the perfect girl, that he was falling in love with me but had never had a g/f and didn't know what to do in a relationship. He said he was not ready to settle, was confused, thought that I was ready for a serious relationship, that he had been being self-centred and was afraid of hurting me and being hurt. Then he left and I haven't heard from him for almost a week. I'm devastated because I fell for him and wonder if he meant the nice things he said and if he will come back. My friends saw him out alone and said that he looked sad. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Phone him and ask him to go out fro a quite drink. If he says yes ask him face to face what is going on. If he says no then put it down to experience.
x
A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Well, give him a phone call then if you like him so much. There's no point waiting for him to call you.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Is he really worth the hassle ? Unless he wants to commit then there isnt anything that you can do about it, what is it that you want to achieve ? Do you want to try and make him have a relationship with you ? Just if you do contact him what are you going to say ? Hes already told you that he didnt want to hurt you knew he was falling for you and then bolted as he wasnt ready, if hes not ready then pressuring him will only make it worse, hes got to want to be with you and right now he doesnt want to so i would leave well alone. If he were interested he would come back to you, but chances are he has had his fun, realised it was going to turn into more than he can handle and ran off. He needs time to mature by the sound of it and no matter how much you chase him hes not going to change until hes ready. I have had a similar experience years back, a guy dated me, we had alot of fun, hung out, had great sex, one day he said he was in danger of falling for me. We still saw each other a few times after that, thought things were cool, we had booked a weekend away and all the normal stuff. Then he just stopped talking, no texts, didnt answer my calls, nothing. Didnt have the weekend away, as he had suddenly bolted. My friend bumped into him and asked him what the hell he was playing at and he just calmly said, i was only looking for some fun, didnt think she would be cool with just that so thought i had better move on! Men are a bit wierd sometimes they give us all these good signals and then realise that cant cope and run off!
So what im trying to say is this, if you do contact him, dont be surprised if hes just had his fun and is waiting to move onto the next one without commiting.
Take care x
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