A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a great relationship, with someone who wants the same as me and has all the same values, but we can't seem to get the romantic side of our relationship right. I feel as though he doesn't make an effort to make things special, and he thinks the everyday is special. When I brought it up he said he know's he's not good at that side of things, so I made small suggestions thinking that might help but nothing so far (including my birthday) had brought anything out. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but eventually this is going to get to me enough to make me wonder that not making an effort means not caring.Any advice? We've been together 7 months and are planning a future together,really don't want this to get in the wayThanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): I feel as though you have to accept people as they are, especially in relationships, and the only person you can change is yourself. I'm not saying you HAVE to change; I'm simply saying we don't have the power to change anyone else. If they want to change, they will; and if they don't, they won't.I could only suggest that you have a serious conversation with him about this, letting him know how important it is. I have to say though, that my BF tries like crazy, and he really just isn't good at it. I love so much that he makes an attempt though. :) Some people really just aren't good at it and he may be embarrassed that his attempts will fail. Deep down, all people want to be accepted for who they are. Think about that and whether what you're asking is reasonable considering his other personality traits. IDK. It's a tough one.
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