A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had made plans for today, but he said he needed a few hours alone so that he could finish working on his jeep. Later I went over and we met some friends for dinner, and one of the girls mentioned that she was over helping him on his car earlier, a detail he neglected to tell me. He lied to me, and when I confronted him he told me he only left that part out of his story because he thinks that I am uncomfortable with their friendship. If I wasnt before I am now! I'm confused whether I should just drop it, or if he can be trusted at all? This is not the first time he has lied to my face. I love him with all my heart but I won't be lied to. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou all for all your help. I forgot to mention that this friend has had sex with 3 of his friends, which is the reason I am suspicious of her and my boyfriend being alone together, especially in secret.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Reading your post I was going to suggest you let it go and tell him that in the future that he should not leave out any details. After all, everyone deserves a chance. That was until you said he has lied to your face before.
''I love him with all my heart but I won't be lied to''
Lying sounds like its a deal breaker for you (and so it should be!) but at the moment you are allowing the lies- and yes, omission of details also count. If it is something you feel strong about, and he has lied to you before then think about the future of the relationship.
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Amen to that sister! The only thing worse than lying is cheating. He may not have told you for many reasons; either he does not want you to feel uncomfortable,jealous,mad or he just had alterior motives. Still, the question is at hand, why did he lie? Sometimes, those who lie cannot be trusted, especially the ones that did it more than once.
Like I mentioned above, cheating and lying go hand in hand. A guy who lies is likely to cheat. You guys are in a realtionship and you are like one and he should not hesitate from sharing everything with you. I mean, we all have histories and the past will always be the past but the present is a different story. He could have simply stated that he was going to do so and so and a female friend would be helping him. Of course, you may have felt a little weird (like who is this friend) but you would have felt kinda relieved because atleast knew ..in case anything was to happen.
I think that you should keep your guard up because it does not seem like the girl is at fault , after all she came and told you so...you should have a talk with him. I do not think he did anything bad but who knows for next time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Hi,
I know what your thinking. That he cheated and you know what your probably right. My boyfriend keeps on doing the same thing. He even let a girl sleep in his room with him for a week while we were together.
now were living together and he still manages to keep things from me.
He even came home from work with a dirty penis(and i mean dirty) and tried to convince me that he masterbated at work.
i feel stuck because i love him.
He lies so much and trys to make out i'm hearing and seeing tings, and tells me that finding his ex girlfriends undies on the floor in his room 3 months into our relationship is not proof that he cheated. Neither is coming home with a filthy penis.
I'm going insane now because everyone seems to believe his not cheating on me.
but i have so much proof he is.
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A
male
reader, spnwinchester  +, writes (7 January 2011):
UUhhh....Really? So a friend of his helped him work on his car. Is that it? You really have trust issues that need to be dealt with because that really is just a very minor detail that he didn't have to tell you. If you think that is a major detail then you are going to be in for one wild ride through-out your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I think you can't trust him. He has lied to you in the past.
If it's really just a friendship then why lie about it? Especially since the friend mentioned it to you anyway. If you're uncomfortable with their friendship maybe there is a reason for that.
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