A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really upset about what my boyfriend has said and I'd like some opinions about whether I'm overreacting or not.I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish. For some reason he thought it would be a good idea telling me who else was talking to him when we started getting to know each other. He was quite drunk and showed me a photo of a really pretty girl who liked him but lived a long way from him. I agree she's pretty and wears amazing clothes, her photos showed she had a good social life, she looks quite well off and it wouldn't surprise me if she were an actress or model. My boyfriend told me that his friend thought he should ditch me and see her instead. I think the only reason he didn't go see her was that she lived so far away. Ok that doesn't make me jealous its the fact that he seemed to enjoy telling me his friend doesn't think much of the way I look.We've also been out to clubs and he decided to tell me some guy told him that I didn't look his type.I dont have much money but when I go out I always try and look good. My clothes aren't designer I cant afford to get my nails done or wear expensive makeup. But my boyfriend keeps telling me I'm different to the other women who go out.If I could afford hair extensions and nice dresses or to get my nails done I would. So I dont get why he keeps classing me as different than women he sees who goes out that take care of themselves.I've told him I'm upset by what his friend said, that he should ditch me for tho other woman, but he thinks I should be grateful that I can get a boyfriend that really beautiful women find attractive Am I over reacting? I'm seriously considering leaving him over this. Although I know I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world sometimes id like to feel like somebody thinks I am. Should I just accept, as a an average looking girl, that I'm not the greatest catch. He thinks I should be flattered, but I'm not.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2015): Please don't worry about your appearance, this is a classic ploy. I've heard it so many times, exactly what you've just written. Shows the new girlfriend a picture of someone gorgeous and goes on about how she and everybody else thinks they should be together. This is all designed to break your confidence and your spirit and make you grateful (WTF!) to be with this loser. You are gorgeous which is why he's going to these lengths to make sure you don't leave him. If you felt you were too good for him, you might go ...right? So he makes sure you feel like crap. He has other tricks up his sleeve to keep you constantly unhappy and insecure. The very best thing you could do is leave him like you said. Tell him that you also think it would be great if he and she were together. I bet he has no idea who she even is, probably hasn't met her and just got her picture from somewhere. All designed to make you feel jealous and insecure. Well, make him feel like crap now. His turn. Enjoy!!
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (23 November 2015):
 He has a HORRIBLE personality- you know what you don't have to be an on-screen Beauty to be attractive AND have sex appeal- there is so much more to this than looks, research it... I.e. Being flirty, intelligent, feminine, kind and nurturing... All these qualities are considered truly womanly, which is sexy- every woman can possess them if they want! Whatever his reasons for his comments, he is TRYING TO MAKE YOU INFERIOR- like the first poster said, by making you feel bad about yourself and bringing you down- he sees the negative effect on you, how that makes him feel good, powerful... With a personality like this, he could be a Tom Cruise lookalike- but WHAT is attractive about someone like this? see how it's not all about looks ... You need to see him for what he is- am going to use a strong word that I never use and may not be published but he warrants it- a little c**t! When you get find some more confidence and self esteem, you'll recognise signs that someone is mistreating you more- and realise that rather than LETTING their poison affect you, you'll just let it wash over you... Even though they may deserve a brick over the head... Lol! I wish you well and listen to all the other advice that will probably be posted here, cos EVERYONE is right about the poisonous leech he isTake care of yourself, NOBODY has the right to treat you like you're something on their shoe- and anybody that actually believes they're better than other people actually have very little substance and goodness about them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 November 2015):
 I think your BF is a twat.
He rags on you so that you will feel GRATITUDE that he is dating you. Basically he is telling you that he can DO so much better than you. I'd let him go find better.
Just because you aren't a 10 doesn't give him the right to talk to you the way he does.. and expect yo to be flattered. Is he some kind of super-hunk himself? My guess is no. You aren't dating HIM for his looks, am I right?
WHO you are as a person has nothing to do with designer duds or expensive this or that.
He sounds a bit callous and shallow.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (22 November 2015):
Quite frankly I think your boyfriend's an ass! He sounds very insecure which is why he's putting you down with these horrible comments - he wants you to believe you are SO lucky to have him rather than see him for the ass he actually is. I agree you should dump him and not look back. Everyone deserves someone who makes them feel beautiful and this guy isn't it.
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