A
female
age
41-50,
*smack28
writes:Yesterday was my b-day and I went out with my girls after while we went back over to where my car was and jumped in the vam (that I gave my fiance)as I'm getting in I reach in the side pocket and pull out (5) condoms you can tell it was a(6) pack and one had been used.I drove the car to the liquor store when I was comming out he was pulling up in my car I walked up to him and let him know what I found he was drunk and his reply was what am I doing up hear as a car of girls pull up next to him looking at me as if one of them wanted to know who I was. he would not give me my keys back so I sat in the car for a min and then went in the store and started trippen on him. He has not been home for the past 3 weeks he trys this stiff all the time I have told him I don't want to be with him anymore but lets try to stay civil for the kids because they din't ask for this and all he does is tell me he loves me and he is never going to leave me he will kill me if I try he has already damaged my homes, cars and other thing I'm tired of moving and ppo's don't work he always finds out where I live and I end havving to stay with him because of what he might do to me. What should I do?
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condom, drunk, fiance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Sadly, this is a situation that will not change. I know because I've been in it minus kids. The best thing you can do is contact the local district attorney that specializes in domestic violence. They can get you an emergency protective order because you're in immediate danger, as the process of getting a restraining order takes longer. Never go anywhere alone with your kids. your da office can also provide services for you to get through it, like counseling. stay safe and away from that loon!
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (11 July 2010):
 ...Hi, No one should be held hostage. Whether he will do what he says or not take this lightly. Where is your family? Llet them know what is going on and also do what
sunnycomet said and tell the police, report everything that has happened with him. I would leave, if there is no family to stay with find a shelter in another town. You can't leave a trail. You can't pack while he is there and argue with him about leaving. Don't pysche yourself into believing that he does this because he loves you, love goes with respect. He is abusive, and he loves to intimidate you. You need to carry mace or hair spray in your purse if he does something stupid use it. But report this man to the police, Men do kill women, some get away with it. Leave him while you can but be smart about it, no announcements. Get a friend that you can confide in, a ministrer or someone who will keep your confidence. They might be able to help as well. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 The best thing to do is run, call the police and file a report. Get a restraining order against him. This man is a danger to you and your children. If you have family, tell them whats going on, stay with them if at all possible. If you don't seek a woman's shelter. DO NOT STAY ALONE WITH YOUR KIDS. Always have someone with you. This next piece of advice is VERY important so please, follow it: no matter how much he begs, pleads, and promises, DO NOT AGREE TO MEET ALONE to "work things out." Please! If you ever feel you must, make sure its daylight, in a public place with friends nearby. Also, notify your children's school of the situation, make sure that he cannot pick them up under any circumstance. Please, keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, loraemoon  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 how horrible get a restraining order if you have to looks like he wants to go cheat and do things he wants with out thinking about you
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A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 If you tollerate this, it will only get worse. Don't let him near you or the kids when he behaves like that. Report him to the police if he causes damage and if he threatens you badly. I can tell you this: It won't evolve into a good marriage. You probably will get hurt in a lot of ways if you don't take significant action. Just break the relationship.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Go to the police...this man is dangerous and you are putting yourself and your kids at risk.
Go to a women's shelter in your area.
Run now while you have the chance!
Keep us updated!
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