A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend almost three years my boyfriend just told me earlier this week, that he didn't feel the same anymore and that he wanted a break and that he really really cared about me. i love him so much he literally means the world to me. when he told me that it was like the wind blown out of my lungs heart racing, worst feeling. i feel like i've been there for him and sacrificed a lot for him and he doesn't seem to see it, i've made mistakes in the past ( i've never cheated) but i did hurt him, i told him i was sorry. a year ago we went on a break because we argued all the time about little things, i said things that i shouldn't have and he started talking to other girls and eventually we got off the break everything went back to normal, and i found out that he hung out with those girls i was heart broken cause i found out on myspace. i felt like he sorta was taking out revenge. after that we got better we were happy i got over that. then there was a point in time where he was stressed out cause he needed a job and couldn't get one so eventually he did, and ever since then i feel like he changed a bit, maybe he's going through phase cause he has shown me he cares about me but his attitude was sort of out of no where. we have been talking about this issue all week and still hangout, he still calls me and texts me, so i m confused. i really don't want to lose him, i want to give him his break but im scared.last night he did something he's never done before, he called and told me to listen to a song. its like i've been texting him less and calling less, but its seems he's called more.im so confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your time first of all,
im afraid your right, he needs space and maybe i do too, its hard thats all i've been preparing myself for. its confusing really, because yesturday he sorta just are we going to the movies, not do you want to go? lol im not complaining
but yeah even before he told me he was losing feelings/ didnt feel the same thing he kinda pushes away he was still affectionate at the time but a bit distant. and now when we hang out since wealve been having that talk he keeps him self occupied as if scaredwhat might happen if he doesnt, maybe scared i dont know. also we went from talking on the for hours to to now only minutes, but then recently sicne that talk he's called way more and longer.so now its sort of like said i know i need to give him space and i've backed off i guess you could say pretty much just let him be...
A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (10 July 2009):
 At your age his behaviour will change, as will yours. You're both growing, learning and (hopefully) progressing.I think it is probably the logical side of him that thinks you guys need a break, and based on what you've described of your interaction perhaps that is true. When you're arguing about every little thing it's usually because there's a larger issue under the surface.A break might be hard in the short term, but if it saves the relationship in the long term then surely it's for the best.You have two options, continue on the path of a relationship that isn't exactly as you want to be, isn't reaching its full potential, OR alternatively take a short break in the hopes that time apart will enable both parties to get a better idea of what they want, what the relationship should be and work towards it?If you let it, the break will be good for you too. It's easy to focus on what you're losing in this time, but you're also gaining a lot too, so use it.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (10 July 2009):
 Give him a break. He is trying to sort his feelings out.
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