A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: how do you deal with knowing your bf/gf moans about you to friends? i know we all need to vent about niggles or issues that are annoying us. i've always been the kind of person to tackle problems head on and to talk to my partner if problems arise. i'd kinda feel disloyal if i spoke to friends and not him first. my bf vents to his 2 best friends when i annoy him and it hurts me as i discover from them that he's annoyed with me rather than from him, and that they know more about our relationship than i'm comfortable with. i've asked him about all this and he says he'd talk to me if any issues arose, says all's good, but i know he tells his friends we argue and don't have enough sex anymore! i think i need to stop caring what he tells his buddies but i'm finding it hard-what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2013): Some men talk out their lady problems with their male friends. This can happen especially with men who are less experienced in relationships.
Your confrontation of issues head-on probably scares your boyfriend because this can be extremely uncomfortable and abrupt. He may even be begging his friends to try and mediate things for him because he loathes having these abrupt and extremely uncomfortable conversations with you.
Are you angry about his friends telling you? Are you angry because they know? Are you angry because he did not come to you first? Or are you angry because whatever he told them embarrassed you because it is something you already know you need to work on, but you simply don't know how?
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