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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 16 yr old girl. I have been involved with the same guy for 2 years. We both had are both sexual experience together. Ii went down on him but he is pressuring sex on me and I keep saying no. So now he has talked me into anal sex, saying I am still a "technical virgin" . Am I and how can I stop it from hurting so bad? Please help. I love him and want to keep him!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I let my boyfriend have anal sex with me. It gives him tremendous pleasure, allowing him to cum 3 or 4 times each session. I feel some pain, of course, but I don't mind because all I really care about is pleasuring my boyfriend. I think it's important to please your man. And there is no risk of pregnancy from anal sex, which makes it even better as we don't need to wear a condom, which would reduce the level of pleasure. As you get more experience with anal sex, you can learn to relax more, which will help you to cope with the pain during the initial penetration and then focus more on what really matters--bringing pleasure to your man. He'll appreciate your sacrifice of your own comfort in order to bring him extreme pleasure. It also helps if you let him bite or twist your nipples as this will help to divert your attention away from the pain of anal penetration, making it easier for you to breathe more deeply and to relax--which in turn helps him to be able to thrust his penis more deeply into your rectum. The harder and deeper his thrusts, the more pleasure he will enjoy thanks to you. After my boyfriend cums inside of my ass, he pulls out and I suck on his penis or even deep-throat it in order to make him ejaculate quickly a second time. It's important for us girls to learn these skills of anal sex, oral sex, and "A2M" (ass-to-mouth). Most girls my age these days are willing to have oral sex and deep-throat, and about half of girls age 15 are trying anal sex.
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female
reader, Ana183 +, writes (10 January 2006):
 This guy obviously doesn't REALLY care for you or love you, because if he did, he would respect your decisions on anything! I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 months now. He respects every decision that I make no matter what it is! Dont let him trick you into stuff that u dont wanna do! And with stuff like this, if you are not sure about it, take time to think if you are ready for it, and if he doesnt respect what u say, then u deserve much better than him sweety! no one deserves to be unhappy in a relationship!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 January 2006):
 What about what *you* want? Isn't that important too?
You seem only to be having sexual contact with him because that's what *he* wants, and you believe that if you don't he'll dump you. Is that about right?
Well, in that case, he doesn't care about YOU, he cares about the sex. If not you, then any other girl who'll stand still. That's no basis for "love", and you're wasting your affection on a selfish oaf, who thinks your "relationship" is about him getting his rocks off.
Anal sex can be OK if it's something you're into, and it's done slowly and with care. Mr "My-Pleasure-Is-Paramount" doesn't sound like he'd be the sort of person who'd take that sort of care, now, does he? His talking you into anal is just the next best thing he can think of to vaginal sex, which is all he really wants. He doesn't really seem to care much whether it's uncomfortable for you or not.
I know you feel strongly for him now and think you're in love, but when you have a bit more experience with relationships you'll look back at the way this guy has tried to manipulate your innocence and wonder how you ever even tolerated such an egocentric doofus.
It's time that you thought about what would please YOU, for a change. How about a boyfriend who loves you as a whole person, and would like to be with you, whether you're servicing his undercarriage or not? How about a boyfriend who'd think about how YOU feel and whether you're comfortable with the way things are going? How about a young man who doesn't threaten to leave because you don't spring up to do his bidding?
There are lots and lots of men in the world, dear, and many of them would love to get to know you. Leave this clod!
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female
reader, buzzie  +, writes (9 January 2006):
I had a boyfriend like yours once. I told him I wasnt ready to lose my virginity so he would pressure me to do all sorts of things that I wasnt comfortable with. He laughed at me when I told him I had never given anyone a blow job, and made me feel so insecure that I gave in. By the way, I HATED doing it, but because I know that I was giving him pleasure I started doing it even though it disgusted me . He also pressured me into doing anal. I really didnt want to but his ex girlfriend kept phoning him and he was hinting that if I wouldnt let him do it he would go back to her because she let him have intercourse with her.
So I let him perform anal. I'm not trying to scare you but just be prepared, if you do let your boyfriend perform this rather humiliating and gross act on you you'll probablly be in a lot of pain. It hurt me so much and when I told him he didnt seem to care. The first time he did it I couldnt go to the bathroom for a couple of days without feeling incredible pain.
I finally got the self esteem and courage to leave this jerk. I am still a virgin and am saving myself for my future husband.
Ask yourself if your doing this for him or yourself. Please really think about what you'll be letting this guy do to you.
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female
reader, happytochat +, writes (9 January 2006):
This guy is just trying to manipulate his way through, its not right what hes doing. Whether techinicaly you wil lbea virgin or not, what he said and is trying to do is sneaky and lacks respect for you, your choices and beliefs.
Yes I would imagine it wuld hurt alot, so why are you even considerng to say yes? It it due to his pressure? If so then you should deffintly not go thorugh with it. This guy doesnt seem he will respect the fact that you don't want to so I think you should dump him! No one who is a decent enough person would put someone else thorugh pain for there pleasure and deffintly wouldnt make them do something they arent comfortable with. Tell him either he stops pressuring you to do ANY kkind of sexual activity of you are leaving. Better still don't give him the choice and jjust leave.
There are soooooooo many more guys out there who would be willing to wait till you are ready and who will respect you. Leave this guy and get one of those guys! You sure can, you are deffintly worth it!
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (9 January 2006):
 How can you love this guy? Honey, you deserve better!
Listen to your choice of words. First, he repeatedly tried PRESSURING you into vaginal sex, and then he TALKED YOU INTO anal sex?
He is taking advantage of you by manipulating you into participating in something hurtful, for his own pleasure. Anal sex will continue to hurt you because you're doing it for HIM, not for you, and it isn't giving YOU any pleasure. All it does is remind you of how selfish he is being (in the back of your mind, you KNOW this), and if you continue to agree to it, then it's just going to make you resent him in the long run.
He obviously doesn't care about you enough if he feels the need to pressure or talk you into sex, regardless of whether it's oral, anal, or vaginal. A guy who truly loved and respected you would wait, instead of making you give in to sexual activities that you aren't ready for.
Definitions of virginity vary widely these days, so I guess that it's your call whether you want to consider yourself a virgin (until you have vaginal sex, of course). He says that you are a "technical virgin," but in my opinion, this guy is robbing you of your emotional virginity, so to speak. Sex loses its meaning and sacredness when it takes place against your wishes, in any way, shape, or form. I say dump him and find someone who has more respect for you so that sex will be on YOUR terms, and it will be special. He isn't worth keeping.
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female
reader, AndersAmanda  +, writes (9 January 2006):
 If you don't want to do something sexual with this guy then tell him. If a guy is pressuring you to have sex maybe you should rethink the whole relationship. It is not acceptable for him to pressure you into any kind of sex. All that matters is how you feel about the situation not him.
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