A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this guy from my university who is a year senior to me took me out on a date,we dint really know each other until the date(we were never friends,neither acquaintance) but we had a few classes together and then he finally mustered the courage to ask me out!it was one helluva date,I always play safe,I'm like the nice one with this guy I cut loose I dint restrict myself..the night ended with us kissing(no sex)just kissing and I regret it becuz I think I shldnt have kissed him on the first date,so we went on the second one and I we had a good time again played pool,beach but he insisted we go over to his apartment over n over again,which kinda annoyed me,cuz I said NO..we dint kiss although he wanted to..anywys he aplogised for forcing and he wants a clean slate!I don't know,could you give me some fun date ideas not involving sex?
View related questions:
kissing, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): OP all a date involves is doing what you'd do with your friends except the person is a romantic interest.
If you don't want sex, don't go be alone with him. Simple as that.
OP if he suggests you go be alone with him again on the next date after his line about starting again, then just ditch him.
He wasn't out of line to ask you back he just wanted to bone you, nothing wrong with that and you said no and stopped that happening so no harm done.
But there is more than one sign here that he may only want you for sex. So keep it public, don't go anywhere to be alone with him for at least 5 more dates and see how he reacts. I have a feeling he'll get very impatient and try every line in the book to get you alone. He'll try the pity card, he'll try and make you feel bad or that you led him on, or that it's what people do etc.
OP if he pressures you even one more time about anything he's a douche and you need to get rid of him. He needs to prove through actions and not words that he's interested in you as a person.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Good advice from the anonymous poster. I would only add that you wait several months before agreeing to go to his apartment - preferably when you have become established as boyfriend/girlfriend and have a commitment to be exclusive.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): Its nice if on your first date or two you can go on a group date. Try roller blading parks, water parks In the summer or go to the museum or the zoo. No going to his or your apartment until you have been dating for more than a month or so. How going to a park in a open area and have a picnic? Try bicycle trips in your area. Lots to do and lots of different ways to get to know your new man. Good-luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 May 2013):
You could go bowling, or out with a group of friends, or go to a talk or lecture that might be of interest.
I think he was out of line to ask you to go to his apartment in the first place, and WAY out of line to keep insisting on it. If you had, it would have signaled to him that you were willing to do more than just sit on the couch and watch a movie!
It's just about NEVER a good idea to go to someone's home unless you have been dating or a number of months, and have both agreed to be exclusive.
If you do want to see him again, you need to be prepared that he might try it on again - despite the fact that he apologized and claimed to want a clean slate. You would need to be equally insistent that going to his place - or yours - just isn't going to happen. Some of these men tend not to give up........and when they've gotten laid,they're outta there........
A cautionary tale: I recall advice from Ann Landers who, a long time ago, replied to a young woman who said she'd gone to her date's home, (first date), had sex and when she woke up next morning, he was gone. He left some money for her, however. She was hurt and upset. Ann Landers told her its very simple: "the sample was ample."
...............................
|
