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female
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anonymous
writes:Ive been dating my bf for like 2 months now. For about the first month he would constantly ask me to have sex with him and I kept saying no because I wasnt ready. In a way i felt under pressure, yet now hes stopped asking me and its confusing me! Dont get me wrong, im glad hes stop asking cause i feel under pressure but it just confuses me why he would suddenly stop. does this mean he doesnt want to have sex with me anymore? or maybe he just realisd that i really did mean no when i said no? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 Have you noticed that he isn't as affectionate towards you also? Have you noticed that he is starting to isolate himself from you more & more?
When someone is rejected enough, it kills the desire. And I feel also that it kills the love. You need sex in a relationship to stay close. I may be wrong, but I am speaking from experience.
The reason being that the one who is constantly being rejected begins to feel undesirable, ugly, & unloved.
Do you want to stay in the relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): You asked why he has stopped asking now and didnt when you requested it before, kind of points more evidence to the idea of him going elsewhere for it if you ask me, either that or maybe he has bought lots of porn and does it for himself.
A sit down with him should clear it up, dont ask him why he has stopped asking you...that makes it sound like you are playing games, use your words carefull and just ask if he still wants sex with you soon? If the answer is "I dont mind" or anything like that then I would say he has been elsewhere - any guy would normally jump at the chance to convince you. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Men will ask for only so long. Depending on how you said no, along with other words of describing his pursuit, he stopped because the rejection became to much (remember that rejection may hit the heart after a while, meaning you don't see him that way, but as a friend). Not to say his heart has been hurt, only he can say that, but from experience as being married and being told no, or the excuses used, I gave up. It doesn't mean I don't want sex, it just means I no longer feel comfortable with her to get to close for fear of rejection again. Either she no longer sees me as her mate, which by her actions, tells me she wants someone else, or possibly something else, which she must tell me. Hopefully you explained why you don't want sex, if you haven't, then he is possibly in my boat, and he as I am slowly drifting away from my wife.
I hope I'm clear, I feel I may have been a little scattered brain here, and no, I'm not blonde.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I agree with Phiatiger. He probably either got fed up with being turned down, shrugged his shoulders and didn't bother any more, or he found some other way of releasing his sexual tension - either on his own or with someone else.
If, when you feel ready, you ask him for sex and he says "no thanks", you'd know (1) how it feels to be rejected and (2) that he doesn't fancy you in that way anymore and that you've become more of a buddy than a partner.
Of course, you could ask him why he's stopped asking you, or would that seem a little too contrary? You've just reinforced my theory that females are very difficult to figure out sometimes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): He did what you asked him to, he stopped asking. Maybe he felt bad about pestering you about it? It sounds to me as though he probably still wants it, but just doesn't want to force you into anything anymore. You can't have it both ways babe! You asked him to stop and he stopped, so you should be happy. Good luck :]
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response.
Yes he did do as I requested- stop asking me. But i asked him many times early in our relationship and he didnt listen then, so why listen now?
We are 18 years old, so of legal age to have sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): Well he did as you requested right? Stopped asking...or was it quite flattering that he was wanting sex from you? Im not sure of your age but if you are of legal age to have sex but are choosing not to then well done you.
Of course he still wants to have sex with you - he is male isnt he and wouldnt turn down the chance if you offered? however the fact that he isnt hassling you could mean that he either finally realised he wasnt getting anywhere by asking or perhaps he went and got it elsewhere so its not on his mind as much anymore.
Sorry to be the barer of bad news but we have to consider the reasons from both angles. Lets hope he just decided to stop hassling you eh?
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