A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:been with my boyfriend for only 4 months but fell in love very quickly with him he dithered and on day out of the blue told me he loved me which made me very happy indeed i have a trust issue due to being abandoned 2 years ago by my husband and i think i may need help with this i found out that my boyfriend was texting other women not intimatley but he wasnt saying he was in a relationship. We sorted that out and lastnight after being with me for 24 hours he said he was going home earalier than normal i wasnt happy and texted him to which he replied my mum isnt very well and i was to back off his mother is 83 and he lives with her the problem i had was that i havent been to his house and he never mentioned his mum being ill until he left. Anyway he didnt text me today for hours wouldnt reply then said that i had hurt him deeply and he needed to think and that he had to be at home for his mum at the moment and i told him that wasnt a problem and i just wanted to be there for him and to love him he was very curt with me but still wants us to go on holiday to at the end of the month but only after i grovelled. Now i just feel insecure and terrible because i had to keep on telling him i was sorry and i dont know if he really wants me or not
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 August 2008):
 Have you never been to his place? Do you have his home phone number or just his mobile? It seems odd that he hadn't mentioned his mother being ill earlier too. I would be very cautious with him, don't move to fast or sink too deeply too quickly. You've had a bad time of it with being abandoned, so naturally you want to have some positive experiences with this new man.
It's just that when things move too quickly, and people say 'I love you' too soon, there's some red flags there. It's so nice to believe in fairy tale romances but don't let him pull the wool over your eyes. Keep yourself strong, decide what it is that YOU want and don't abase yourself before him to get the positive reaction you seem to need from him.
You have to love yourself first, and being made to feel insecure by him sounds like a controlling tactic to me. *Ptui* to that. If he doesn't like you as you are, then he's not the man for you. If I were you, I'd work on building my self-confidence and self-esteem up and not expect him to do it for me. In fact, I might put a little space between him and me since he seems to expect grovelling and endless apologies. Not good, honey, not good. Just be very cautious and take it slow, okay? And do NOT hand over your heart to a man who's just going to stomp on it--be very sure he's not going to do that.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Girl..wake up. He's playing mind games with you and manipulating the situation. You don't need to grovel to him. I think the thing with his mom is total BS.
He's totally disrespecting you.
Yes you have trust issues from your ex husband, but don't let that ruin your self worth or self esteem. You deserve better..stand your ground. Don't put up with his BS.
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