A
female
age
41-50,
*irra
writes: Ok so I met this guy and it was like love at first sight for both of us so as days passed he asked me out on a date and obviously I replied yes and accepted so this date turned into a relationship. we dated for 3 years, only problem was he was a Muslim and I am catholic, along the way in our relationship we started to have problems with his family as they seen that our relationship was lasting a good time they started to worry, I guess they thought it was going to be a short relationship, something with no importance so he started to see me less often then we started to argue about little things, eventually we broke up for a week or so and got back together the next on and off.The problem is that from so much breaking up and making up he decided that he just wanted to stay friends even though he said he loved me with all his soul and heart, he said that his love towards me means so much that he'd rather be friends with me so i wouldn't get hurt in the future because the truth was that he was never going to stay with me because he didn't want to hurt his family specially his mom and said I love you but not more than my family.From talking all day going out every week went to talking only once or twice a day and seeing each other once or twice a month... sadly 5 years passed and we are still the same way... friends, oh but one thing i left out - he still doesn't want me seeing anyone else nor talking to anyone else, he still wants to have sex with me, pretty much wants to be with me without the title of being my boy friend, he says its natural for him to still see me as a girl friend because it feels right but he doenst want to be my BF because he doesn't want to hurt me in the future. ok what is it that he wants from me he can't date me but loves me and talks to me less and sometimes feels like he is avoiding me. is he just using me or does he really love me and doesn't want to hurt far in the future?So if he doesn't want to hurt me than why is he making it harder for me still acting as if he was my boyfriend but with out the tittle?I mean he doesn't really go out much with friends but I don't get it please help me?
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broke up, got back together, I love you, muslim Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 Okay, I know a little about the muslim faith and men and here is how it is.
Muslim men will mess about with/sleep with a non-muslim girl but will rarely marry them/commit to them. Why? Because the family will disapprove, by the family I mean the muslim community too and believe me muslim communtites are tight knit.
He is using you until his family find someone suitable for him to marry. He will do the right thing and marry her, he will have kids and do the family thing but don't worry, you will also be there...like a shadow lurking in the background waiting for a visit from him now and again or whenever he feels like it. Of course your life will be on hold and you will pass up on the chance to be with someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve because of this user. You'll probably miss out on the chance to have a family waiting for this user to turn up. When all is send and done, you will end up losing the most.
This is your future...if you want it to be. Take my advice DUMP HIM NOW and FOREVER and don't look back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): It is obvious to me what is going on here. The fact that he is Muslim is basically a deal breaker all in itself. You do not realize the shame he would bring to his family for marrying outside of his race/religion. If I had a million dollars, I would bet that he just plans on keeping you around until he finds the woman he will marry. After that you are on your own. Right now everything is good for him because he gets sex when he needs it, he isn't tied down at all, and his family isn't on his back for being your boyfriend. You need to wake up and realize that what started out as a good relationship, is now no more than a game to him. Do you really want to be left sitting at the table when he throws down his cards? BE STRONG! GET OUT! YOU CAN DO IT!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 January 2010):
He's using you for sex and nothing else. He is talking rubbish. He's just using you and controlling you. So sit down and look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you want to be nothing but second best to this selfish guy who doesn't care about you at all and just wants to control you for sec, or whether you'd rather cut all contact with him and find a guy who really does love you. Pick option 2. Dump him, end all contact and find a decent guy who loves you.
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