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He still wants to be FWB

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *x-lilmiss-xx writes:

Hey DearCupids,

I've got a bit of an issue on my hands and need help.

me and my boyfriend of 10 months have recently split, out of all the days he ended it on our 10 month anniversary. The main cause of the break up was due to distance, with me living in Crewe and him in Nottingham, its a 1:30 hr drive on the best of days, same on the train. We both want to be together and he says he still loves me. But the thing is he wants to be FWB (friends with benifits), which i dont think i can handle. Because this may sound daft, but with every kiss i just fall ever the more deeper in love with him, and tha pain already hurts so much and i dont want it to hurt anymore. So please could you give me some advice on how to move on? or how to get around the FWB issue because we still want to be friends and meet up.

Thanks a lot

Stacey x

View related questions: anniversary, move on

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A female reader, xx-lilmiss-xx United Kingdom +, writes (11 May 2009):

xx-lilmiss-xx is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xx-lilmiss-xx agony auntThanks everyone for your replys, means a lot honestly i didnt know where to turn, least now i know the whole FWB thing is a big no

Once again thankyou so much

:) x

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 May 2009):

Honeypie agony auntYou are a smart girl to stay away from the FWB thing. It's never benificial if you have strong emotions involved.

Maybe you need to stop seeing him all together. Move on, let him go.

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A female reader, elephant159 United States +, writes (11 May 2009):

elephant159 agony auntI would say stay away from the FWB thing. That never realy works out after a relationship break up. It might take time for everything to work out as just friends since you guys where together for so long. Just take it slow. Let him know the FWB thing is not somehting you really want to do. And he needs to respeect that. Let him know you still really like him. and you either want to be friends with no benefits or you want ot be together. You can still see him but if he starts touching you sexually (if you guys just decide to be friends) then you need to let him know thats not ok with you so he understands and stops doing it.

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A female reader, lola16182 Canada +, writes (11 May 2009):

Hi Stacey

Sweetie friends with benefits is not a good plan. You say you are falling more in love with him with every kiss, and with each kiss & anything else you are going to keep falling harder, what if he pulls everything out from under you suddenly?

To me friends with benefits is a guy's way of getting all the "good stuff" without any of the responsibility. Tell him he needs to make a decision whether you are just friends and do activities that are platonic or with a group if he still wants to meet up as friends, or if he still wants all the other stuff tell him he has to commit to a relationship first, see what he says to that!

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