A
female
age
41-50,
*portlady
writes:I have been seeing a man for a year now and he works here but from another country. He told me last year that he was married and if I wanted to go I could.I love him to much and couldn't go away.I asked did he want that I go bye and he said no because he happy with me.He has 2 kids and he said if he didnt have kids that he exactly wouldn't be with her.We are together every day and now he is home for 2 weeks holidays and his wife and kids are coming back with him for a while.I told him that I would lift him and family from airport and he was happy to hear.He said that he at home and he not have sex for ten months with wife and she keeps asking does he have another woman.He tells her no.He said that he still want to see me when she here.What must I do and please don't tell me to forget him because I cant. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 This man is using you for a bit of excitement in his life and while your offering the goods then he's going to just take.He has no intention of leaving his wife or kids,why should he? He's getting the best of two worlds.Dont put up with being 2nd best and leave this man.There is single men out there who will give you their full attention....why do you want to share another man? Leave him,unless you can put up with being his long suffering mistress....i know what i would do.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 May 2007):
 I am not going to say 'forget him'...you should remember him just enough to remind yourself of danger in the future. The guy has a screw-loose in his head if he wants his mistress to pick his wife and kids up at the airport. It sends a clear message that he has no respect for his kids, his wife or you. Everyone in his life is for convenience purposes. If he thinks so much of his kids why is he being role model father of the year by having an affair on the side?
At least he told you he had a wife...many married men having affairs skip that bit. You can carry on with the 'arrangement' in the full knowledge that you will never be more than his bit on the side, or you can get some self-respect and walk away. I am surprised you believe him when he does the 'my wife doesnt understand me and we dont have sex' routine...he lies to his wife about you, what makes you think he isn't stringing you along on a few tall tales? You may love this guy but you should learn to love yourself a bit more than to settle for such an arrangement.
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