A
female
age
41-50,
*umkin
writes:I have been living with my boyfriend for the last three years. We are happy enough but we do fight sometimes, usually about stupid things. What really bothers me is that he stays in touch with all his old girlfriends and he has every girls number he ever knew still stored in his phone. I have heard one or two voicemails some ex girlfriends have left and clearly he is talking to them on a regular basis. I feel this is totally inapropriate but he says Im crazy! and that its totally normal to be friends with an ex or ten! He is 39 and I am 28. any advise would be great.
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female
reader, pumkin +, writes (16 July 2007):
pumkin is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you guys for the advice, I feel better that other people dont think im crazy after all. You know I have told him it bothers me but it still goes on behind my back. I dont so much feel threatened about it because most of them are living in another state but I do wonder about what will happen when one eventually turns up to see him in person and wants to "catch up". I mean we are definetly not loves young dream but I feel like he should not want to stay in the past by talking to all these girls. I mean life should of moved on! and sooner or later this behaviour is just going to invite one of them back into his life? Anyway thank you for your advice, Im starting to think I may need to walk!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): I don't think its really that acceptable at all and if he knows it upsets you, and then does nothing to change - blaming you in the process - then what kind of guy is he?May I make a cheeky suggestion? It might make the point to him quite succinctly.... try texting a few male friends - nothing too serious of course but just make sure you receive and send with him around and see what kind of reaction you get.It's easy for him at the moment as he has his ego boosted by all this female attention. I don't think you're getting the attention you deserve - or the loyalty / commitment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Hi thereI feel like I am having the same problem as you and I feel it is not fair. In your case if you two are happy together then maybe you should talk to him about it and see if he can work something out with you? If he only sees them as old friends then I don't think you need to worry too much. After all they are his EXs. Hope all is well.
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