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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok. Here's the thing. Basically when my boyfriend and I are doing some heavy petting he starts to say/ask some things. I don't they are like normal things like "Do you like that?" and "Are you wet?" but to me they just seem kind of corny. I usually just don't answer him and start kissing him again. I guess just to make him happy I do answer him but I guess what I am asking is how do I politely tell him to shush?? Don't get me wrong, I love him with my life but we are new at this and it just makes it kind of awkward for me. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (23 July 2005):
 Relax a little... its just his way of asking how thigns are for you... he needs some pointers in the right direction of what you like... and he doesnt ask you how does he get to know!! maybe have a little chat and tell him what you like and so on.. and that way if he knows beforehand he wont have to ask at the inimate time... sit and see if you can work out what each other likes and let him knwo what you like when he does it and then maybe say that you feel lost in the moment when you are together and would rather not chat at the time.. just would rather enjoy what the two ofyou are doing..
A
female
reader, princess2 +, writes (22 July 2005):
My ex used to be like that - constantly asking questions while in the bedroom. Sometimes i think he thought it was a turn but to me it seemed disgusting! I didn't want to tell him "yes i'm wet" or " yes i really like that". boys should be able to tell things like that from the noises you make or from touching you and finding out - not having to ask you! it actually made me feel sick which led to me not wanting to sleep with him.
I asked him politely with no success so eventually i got that annoyed i jumped off the bed, had an argument and threw it in his face! He then got the message. BUT if you do this point out that you have been trying to tell him politely over the last couple of months to no success.
Good luck
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A
reader, pops +, writes (22 July 2005):
I assume the two of you are kissing on the mouth, and not your gentitals. His questions are inappropriate, and at this stage, and at your age, the answers are none of his businesss. Get a little backbone, and tell him, nicely, if it works, to stop asking that kind of question. He's just pushing his fantasies while trying to learn what effect his kissing has on you. I speak from experience when I tell you that it takes much time and practice to learn to be an effective, and creative kisser. I could write a book on all the different ways I have learned to kiss my lover, but I don't think I have exhausted the possibilities. The education is too much fun! My exwife told me I was the Man of a Thousand Kisses, because of all the different ways, and places I found to kiss her. If your bf has an ounce of brains between your ears, he will be able to tell himself what the effect of his kissing is on you, by your physical reactions. I suspect your bf is feeling very insecure about his skills, and is exhibiting performance anxiety. Talk to him about what kind of kisses you like, and what you don't like. Expect your preferences to change as you grow older, so don't expect to have this conversation only once in a long term relationship or marriage.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (21 July 2005):
 Everyone likes different things in the bedroom area and you just have to have an open relationsip with each other. Tell one another what you like, what you don't like and any new things you may want to try.
Before you tell him this, just give it a go. Relax and play along, see how you feel about it. Once you relax, you may even enjoy it and find yourself playing along too! Lot's of people find that talking during sex turns them on. If you don't like it, simply come forward and tell him the talking makes you uncomfortable and could he please stop, in the nicest way possible, of course! Good luck:)
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