A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28 and have been with my husband, who's 30, for 5 years. We've got a 6-year-old son. We've been married for two years and for the last few weeks (well, 5 weeks actually), he's become obsessed with going the gym.I was pleased for him when he joined, but now it's become like an addiction/obsession.He's now been spending all his spare time down the gym, it's like I never see him any more. I feel like I'm a single parent rather than a married woman.On the one day he didn't go to the gym, I tried confronting him about it, but he said "it's not important. Can't a guy just go to the gym as he wants??"I even tried going the gym with him one day, but that still didn't put him off going every night of the week, and in his spare time.It feels like I'm living with a totally different person, and as if I've lost him, which is a shame, as he was a really great dad with our son. He is a great lover and really kind person, but now I feel like that bit of him's gone too.I don't know whether to stay or go, nothing I tried seems to have worked.where do i go now??
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female
reader, SleepingChrissie +, writes (29 July 2007):
 Perhaps he has found a hobby he likes, but if he starts acting completely different you may want to investigate more. Psychologist suggest when men or women start change the way they look for no reason that means they are lacking something from their current relationship and may be looking else where to fulfill whatever it is he is wanting. Try talking to him again, let him know how you feel without accusing him of anything. You know what is rational; you know who he is. Has he always wanted to be or has he always been fit, has he been talking to you about him wanting to try new things?You said that you "don't know whether to go or stay"; I am no expert but you are married. He has only been doing this for 5 weeks but yet your ready to throw in the towel?! Marriage is suppose to be a bond that last hard times and easy times. I don't think that 5 weeks is really that long when you compare it to how long your life really is. You shouldn't go anywhere, stay where you are.Are you sure you are upset that he is spending time away or do you wish that you were getting to spend more time away. If it's the later talk to him and let him know you need time out of the house as well. Remind him that he has a son. It is important that you both spend time together in front of him to teach him that relationships about commitment and compromise this shows him how families work.
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