A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex had dated for nearly two years. The first year of the relationship was amazing. The second half didn't go well. His life was not full of fun and crazy things anymore. We lived together and he said he didn't had enough freedom to do crazy things with his friends. The recent 6 months, we had many fights on little things. I guess he is emotionally drained. We also have other issues like: religion, marriage: I want to get married before 30 years old and he doesn't want that (we were 27 now). He may go back to Netherlands in one year.Then slowly he went cold off. Said he needed space to see if he still loved me. I moved out of his place. one week of no contact, then I met him by chance in the park. He said he was nervous when he saw me. He showed me a lot of care and attention.Then we talked and decided to break up for now. He cried a lot and hugged me tight. We said let cancel the second year and let restart the new journey after the break.But 2 days later, I went to his place to get my shoes, I found out he slept with another girl in our bed.I told him to break up forever. He agreed. But I deeply hurt. I love him and want to fix our relationship. At the same time, I can not accept that he sleep with other girls so fast.3 weeks later, we accidentally met up again and he showered me with a lot of attention. He looked at me all the time. A few days ago he texted me saying he was happy to see me again. I didn't text back. Then he texted me again saying he misses me and want to talk. We are going to meet for dinner soon. I still have feelings for him. What should I do? Please give me advice. Thanks
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 May 2012):
Oh dear. You know deep down that this won't work, don't you?
There are so many things wrong here, so many red flags that you need to look at.
Here's a guy who right from the start was more interested in having fun and doing crazy things than he was in just being with you.
Then it became clear that you both had different ideas on marriage - you wanted to be married by 30, he did't.
Then it became clear that he might well leave the Germany and go back to the Netherlands.
Finally, when he did go cold and you took a break, he had sex with another woman within 2 days.
There are so many signs here that he's just interested in having fun, whether it's with you or someone else. He's not at all interested in committing to you, and he's not suddenly going to marry you and make it all better.
I think that the best thing you can do is stop contact with him and move on. Don't waste time on someone who's just going to leave you hurt.
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